These are the voyages...

Recently I had to say goodbye to an old friend: my trusty Mac Mini I got circa 2005. Though she'd never been top of the line (I bought her refurbished), she'd always done what I needed her to do when I needed her to do it. A couple of months ago I started to notice signs that she was wearing down: websites took longer and longer to load (watching video became a particularly painful experience). Programs would take 30 seconds to shutdown- that is, when I didn't have to force quit them because they wouldn't shut down at all. Other times, applications I need to use everyday wouldn't open. I found myself getting slowly shut out of the internet because my girl's outdated processor meant I couldn't upgrade any of my browsers. Though she'd served me faithfully for years, I knew it was time. Today she sits on a shelf in my closet while I have a new friend- a brand new Mac Mini that's...well, I won't bore you (LIKE I HAVEN'T ALREADY) with all the details that make it so super terrific. The point is, I can finally game on my computer.

Well, I'll be able to run just about anything once I get Windows installed; for now, I'm still relegated to the anemic world of Apple gaming.

I tell you all this because it's the reason I came across FTL: Faster Than Light the other day. Had I access to all the games of the world on my computer, I would have skipped by FTL without a backwards glance. The graphics are pleasing, yes, but rudimentary. A strategy game? A simulator? Managing resources? Not my cuppa. But! Hey, it's under $10 and it'll run on Mac? Why, I'd better take a closer look...

As I'd never heard of this game, I looked up a few reviews and noticed that they all had something in common: rather than the standard rundown of graphics, gameplay, plot and the like, each writer told the tale of the crew of his or her ship and, more to the point, how they all died. Every story is different because while elements are similar or the same, the path your ship takes in FTL is largely randomized and no two runs will be identical.

The story is bare bones: you're the captain of a ship holding on to some sensitive information for the Federation. You've got to make your way across 8 sectors of the galaxy to deliver that info while avoiding pirates, slavers, solar flares, ion storms, hostile aliens and more...all while the Rebel fleet is hot on your heels trying to kill you dead. And believe me- kill you dead they will. Or someone else will. You will die very, very frequently, and in the roguelike FTL, it's permadeath. There is no saving, there is no going back, and FTL is difficult and unforgiving...and holy crap, is it fun.

As you can see in the top-down view, most rooms on your ship contain a system: shields, engines, weapons, oxygen, and so on. Each is upgradable (points are purchased with "scrap", FTL's currency), and each system needs power to run. Enemy ships will frequently target one or more of these areas, and as captain, it's up to you to quickly solve the ever-mounting problems before your hull is destroyed (and you and your crew along with it).

In one of my first games, I came across a Rebel ship that had been retrofitted for transport and I had the option to let them go on their merry way or to demand they hand over all their goods. I fancied myself as some sort of scoundrel-type of captain, so I chose the latter...and the Rebels did not simply roll over and give in to my obscene demands. We both powered up our weapons and while my lasers were trying to pew pew through their layers of shields, they launched a missile that promptly took out my cameras and sensors- nearly every room was now blacked our and I couldn't see what was happening in my own ship.

I launched a missile of my own and took down their shields. As I waited for my laser to recharge, I sent a crewman to fix the surveillance equipment. The enemy countered with a missile to my engine room, which destroyed that and with it, any chance that I may simply power up my FTL and jump away from this skirmish.

Finally, I'd chipped away at their weapons enough to disable them; at least I'd have some time to breathe without them firing on me. Of course, as I'd delegated my crew to repair duty, so would the Rebels; their weapons would be back online before long.

I sent another crewman to fix the engines and then the surveillance system came back online: that's when I saw that the missile that had taken out the cameras had also blasted a hole in my fuselage. In all of my scrambling since that first direct hit, I hadn't noticed the oxygen meter steadily counting down...and now, O2 levels were at about 42%. My crewman began frantically trying to repair the damage, but he simply wasn't fast enough. My entire crew asphyxiated, and I have to say...if I were those Rebels, I would have boarded and taken all of my goods just to rub it in my dead face.

Mind you, I was woefully unprepared for that battle. It was early on in my playthrough and I was lacking sufficient weapons, shield strength, everything. As another playthrough taught me, though, you can never be too prepared.

The Cocoa II (yes, you can name your ships and crewmembers) was a force to be reckoned with: I had offensive and defensive drones, an automated robot dude who could board enemy ships and wreak havok, and a full crew of varying alien species. My shields were substantial. I'd freed some slaves, helped out some stranded ships, bought long-range scanners...this run, I thought, would be the one to deliver that oh-so sensitive information.

Then I landed at a beacon planted too close to a sun. And there was an angry enemy ship there, too, who didn't care that a solar flare was imminent. They fired up their weapons.

Before I could react, a laser cut across my hull and took out my engines. Their drone knocked my shields down to half-strength. A missile took out my weapons. My offensive drone was firing a steady volley of lasers at my enemy, but they were strong and their shields weren't budging.

Then came that solar flare, and suddenly the room housing my oxygen regulators was on fire. I opened some blast doors and an airlock in an attempt to snuff out the fire before this crew was asphyxiated.

And then a signal sounded: the enemy had boarded my ship, and they were quickly pummeling my weaker crewmen to death.

More enemy fire. Another solar flare. Within 30 seconds, the Cocoa II had gone from being my pride and joy to being completely obliterated, turned into so much cosmic dust and completely forgotten in the ongoing Federation-Rebel war.

But the Cocoa III! She'll be the one to bring me home to glory. I tells ya, death has never been so addictive.

And what are YOU playing?

The Gameological Society asked me recently about what games I'm playing and if you want to read my answers, well guess what?? YOU CAN.

I would only add that I picked up FTL: Faster Than Light last night and was immediately hooked like it was my first sweet sweet whiff of meth!

Okay, so I don't go around whiffing meth. Hugs not drugs! I also recently started watching Breaking Bad and I'm totally hooked on that, too.

Anyway, I'll talk more in-depthly about FTL very soon. For now let it suffice to say: it's just plain awesome. She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid.

Dragon's WHAT, now?

As you may or may not know (or CARE, to be sure), I am a ginormous fan of western RPGs. Oh yeah, the soap-opera-ness, the world-roamin', the build-your-own-protagonistin'...games like Dragon Age and Oblivion please me the mostest. I thought I'd have naught of this ilk to play until the Skyrim expansion Dawnguard hits later this month, but then lo! I started reading reviews of a game called Dragon's Dogma and it soon became apparent that YES. This game and I were meant to be.

You're going about your business in your wee fishing village one fine day when the bright blue sky darkens as the wings of a mighty dragon blot out the sun! As it turns out, this dragon is a total jerk- when you make a meager attempt at defending yourself, he plucks out your heart, swallows it whole, and takes off for parts unknown.

Despite no longer having a heart beating in your chest, you soon awaken for you are...The Arisen! And it's time to leave your wee fishing village to find that dragon and reclaim what's yours.

You know how it goes: assemble a crew, embark on quests as you build up enough power to face the big boss, talk to denizens of cities near and far...sounds like a pretty generic fantasy RPG, right? Well, it is and it isn't. Certainly there are familiar elements at play and sure, Gransys is definitely a Tolkien-lite kinda world. In their first attempt at a western RPG, however, Japanese developer Capcom changes up the formula in some truly refreshing ways.

The biggest of these ways is evident in the merrie bande of fighters you lead- rather than recruiting a gang of companions from all around the game map (à la Dragon Age) or asking/hiring a follower to accompany you for a while (à la Skyrim), the Arisen is, by rights, given control over the Pawn Guild. Pawns are soulless fighters who hail from the Rift, and they'll fight at your side throughout the game.

Early on, you create a Primary Pawn- modifying appearance, behavior, gender, class, etc- who tags along for the entire adventure. You can choose two more pre-crafted Secondary Pawns as well. Your Primary levels up with you, and you can outfit him or her as you acquire new gear; Secondary Pawns stay as-is, so you'll need to visit the Rift to swap 'em out as you outgrow them or you want to change the class makeup of your party.

Cool, right? Even cooler: if you're playing online, your Primary can be chosen as a Secondary to other online Dragon's Dogma players, and likewise you can choose your Secondaries from Pawns other players have created. He or she will return with gifts given by other players as well as quest knowledge.

Capcom has also changed up the rules about class and leveling up: sure, your character levels through experience gained, but you don't need to worry about stats...which I found to be a pleasant change from the norm, actually. Strength and the such can be modified through the use of gear, but when you hit a new level you simply...gain more health, power, stamina, etc. Though you choose a "vocation" at the outset- fighter, mage, or strider (rogue), of course- you can switch at any time if you're feeling bored. As each vocation progresses, you can choose more advanced forms or hybrids. I started as a strider and eventually became an assassin, a fighter/strider mix. Next time I'll go for a strider/mage mix, because wielding a magic bow sounds mighty appealing.

The one downside to the Pawns? They never, ever shut up. Ever. EVARRRR. As you travel, they talk incessantly- whether it's offering quest advice or simply blurting out things like "What a large tree!", there are three people behind you yapping all the time. It would be annoying if it weren't so hilarious...or maybe vice versa.

You'll be hearing them a lot because the world of Gransys is largely tread on foot- fast travel is a privilege, not a right, and it's earned far into the game. Even then, it's only achieved via special crystals that are incredibly rare- you plant them wherever you like and reach them via other special crystals. This really allows you to experience the world, but it can also be a bit tedious- sometimes you simply don't want to walk from one end of the map to the other, you know? But, leaving areas for good (or never exploring much) means you'll miss out on plenty of quests.

I missed out on some quests simply because of my biggest peeve with Dragon's Dogma: the save system. You can save anytime you like, but the game also auto-saves...and you only have one save file. There's no going back! I discovered this when walking through an innocuous door triggered the final quest and an auto-save- sure, I promptly turned myself around, but several other quests were immediately canceled because they could no longer be completed after that point. It makes my gamer OCD/completionist brain hurt.

Fighting is a blast in Dragon's Dogma. Yeah, there are RPG staples like spiders, rats, and goblins, sure...but Gransys is also populated by enormous creatures straight out of mythology: cyclopes, harpies, chimeras, griffins, and more all roam the land freely. For most of them, there's a Shadow of the Colossus-style angle that can be exploited- grab on to a writhing head of a hydra or climb up the back of a golem and hack away. It's fun, it's difficult (oh, I died so many times in this game, and some battles last upwards of 10-15 minutes), and it never gets old.

You'll find, too, that the world changes vastly from day to night, and Gransys under darkness is no joke. The monsters are tougher, and the only light comes courtesy of the small lantern tied at your waist. Is that shape ahead a rock, or a cyclops waiting in ambush? To what manner of beast do those glowing red eyes in the distance belong? And let me tell you, I thought I'd tired of zombies, but Dragon's Dogma features the absolute creepiest undead I've seen since...well, since Capcom's seminal Resident Evil series.

Though I truly loved the game- it's a really good time- it's not without some...quirks that detract from the play. I mean, no one seems to notice (or care) that the mighty Arisen is a total mute. This is not a voiceless protagonist where you get to choose a line of dialogue from time to time that might give your character some sense of...well, character. All you get to do is pick a yes or a no, an accept or a do not accept from time to time. The cutscenes are well-rendered and the Arisen has some emotive facial expressions, but no more than that. It's just kind of...weird. Particularly when people fall in love with you.

That's right, it's a western RPG so there must be some form of romance, right? It's there in Dragon's Dogma, but it's convoluted and broken beyond all reason. Doing quests make people fall in love with you...so while you give a shopkeeper a fancy idol in exchange for better gear, look out! He or she (gender don't matter none in DD) may prove to be your love interest. Yup, it's out of your control for the most part, and who you'll end up with is largely a mystery until it happens. After completing her quest, one broad decided she was in love with me and moved into my house- into my house!- without my permission. I had my eye on someone else, however, so I was left with no choice but to throw this poor lovestruck girl off of a cliff. I'd say don't judge me, but perhaps the game itself judged me: my "beloved", after all, changed from one ending to the next. Yes, Dragon's Dogma has more endings than Return of the King, though I'm not complaining about that. It was odd, though, to walk off into the sunset not with the person I'd already walked off into a sunset with, but with...a total surprise.

Despite its flaws, Dragon's Dogma fell right into place alongside other western RPGs I love. I hope there's meaty DLC in the works, or a sequel...and I certainly hope Capcom doesn't give up on this strange new world.

And ooh, I hope that "What a large tree!" becomes the new "arrow in the knee".

And here's a trailer that shows a bit o' gameplay:

Whoa.

NO SPOILERS IN THE POST - SPOILERS in the comments!

So I knew I would clear a block of time when Mass Effect 3 arrived, like I did for ME2, so I could just play until completion. There has been completion.

And over the last 12 hours, as I've been thinking about it- this ending that will set, at least, The Internet on fire- I've literally gone from

WHAT IN THE HELL WAS THAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME? RAGE RAGE

to

thinking it's absolutely the most ingenious ending to a video game ever.

This requires faith in what's to come, but even thinking about it...I am completely blown away. And I'm blown away by the process it took for me to completely flip my opinion- that the game provides an answer that is not clear cut and/or easy. I'm stunned.

Of course, maybe I'm wrong and that's that. We shall see.

Now hurry up and finish, everyone, so we can discuss!

Again: SPOILERS IN THE COMMENTS

the happiest tale ever told

the saddest tale ever told

Let me just begin by saying: I am not playing Mass Effect 3 right now. "BUT," you say. "It has been available all day! What's going on? This is disconcerting."

Indeed it is, my friends. Indeed it is.

The short of it: Amazon.com has screwed the pooch on this one so badly that...that...I JUST DON'T KNOW. Sit back and let me tell you the saddest and most boring tale ever told: that of a huge Mass Effect nerd who is not currently playing Mass Effect 3 (me).

No really, it's boring- you've been warned.

Way back in June- June! JUNE! JUUUUUUUUNNNNNE!- I spotted the ME3 Collector's Edition on Amazon and immediately pre-ordered. Into my cart it went! Completed the sale I did! Waiting I began! Heck, the game may have still had a tentative 2011 release date at the time, but I did not care. BioWare stated that the CE would be limited in quantity, but I did not care. My order was placed as early as could be. When the time came, Amazon would charge my card and send my game. Hooray!


Release day eventually began to draw near, and I thought "Hmm. I will check and see if Amazon is offering release-day shipping/arrival for pre-orders. That was what I chose when I pre-ordered Skyrim and verily, I would like to receive Mass Effect 3 on March 6." So I checked, and there was no option. Okay, I could wait a couple of days I GUESS.

Yesterday- the day before the US launch!- I checked my order. Still open, with an estimated delivery date of March 17th. Whaaaaa? That seemed...excessive. I clicked on the actual product, and found this message on the screen:

Due to high demand (and possibly the imminent Reaper invasion), we have unfortunately run out of our pre-order allocation for Mass Effect 3 - Collector's Edition. We are looking to secure additional allocation from the publisher and will update this page if that occurs. Please note -- if you have already pre-ordered this edition -- do not cancel as you may not be able to re-order.

I figured YEAH, but I pre-ordered in JUNE, mofos, so mine should be, like, the first one out the door.

This morning, I woke up with an email giving me a code for my Amazon pre-order bonus DLC- some assault rifle or something. Yay! The game must be in transit! I checked Amazon. Order is still open, delivery estimated- March 17. I checked my bank account- the amount is "pending", but has essentially been taken out of my account.

I call around town, figuring I'll buy one, then when the Amazon one arrives I'll return it. No dice- it's sold out everywhere.

I poke around yon Internette, seeing if anyone else had any issues. I found a forum where someone mentioned Amazon being sold out, and another person responded with a "nuh uh, click this"- and it was a link to the same product on a different Amazon page. Add to cart! Just like any other new product that is in stock.

So, I immediately bought it and opted for 1-day shipping...though I still didn't cancel the other order, figuring better safe than sorry. Another pending debit on my bank account appeared...and the item is now "expected in stock" on the 8th, and I should have it on the 9th. The original item page is still up, and the corresponding order is still listed for delivery on the 17th.

I just went to check Amazon again on a lark (about three hours after I placed my second order), and I guess it's officially "sold out", now. The Collector's Edition is listed as being available only from other sellers, and it's already $130.

Will I get a Collector's Edition in the mail on Friday, or not? Will I get another copy a week later? Or will I get a cancellation from Amazon with a ""Sorry, sold out"? I have no clue and it's fairly infuriating. Not only because...you know...I really want to be playing the game right now, but because fuck you, Amazon.

30-Day Mass Effect Challenge: Day 10

Favorite weapon(s)

I always do Kasumi's loyalty quest so I can pick up the Locust submachine gun as early as possible. My Shepard is a vanguard, and the SMG is about as heavy as she can roll, and Locust is the best, plain and simple.


Later on Shepard gets advanced weapon training, and I always choose sniper rifles because sniping is just so much damn fun.

As for heavy weapons, the Cain is amazing- launch a nuclear warhead!- but I tend to have the Arc Projector with me at all times. It's a chain lightning gun, and it's great for taking down heavy mechs.