Check out this vintage news story about Super Nintendo

Okay, obviously, before anything else, we need to talk about the gorgeous Rogue from The X-Men realness that anchor is giving us.

Then, we can talk about the fuckery of the reporter "playing" F-Zero badly.

THEN we can get to the beef in this stew, which is parents (calmly) raging over the $200 price tag of the Super Nintendo, and letting their kinds know they don't have to have every new thing that comes along. It's quite a shock how much things have changed; nowadays everyone has every fancy new thing, from phones to Kindles to 55" TVs to computers to Poopourri. There's more technology for the consumer to consume than ever before, and we're consuming the hell out of it. No one blinks when a new console appears, nor do they balk at the hefty costs that inevitably accompany it because consoles are now "entertainment centers for the family", not just happy fun boxes for the kids. Scare-mongering news stories about video game systems involve customer-on-customer violence on console release day or Black Friday rather than "hmm, do we need this expensive thing when the old one is still great?"- buying it is a given, it's just a matter of when.

My point, I think, is this: I'm old.

Also, ROGUE HAIR.

more questions answered

Okay, hi! Here I am to continue yesterday's post and provide more scintillating answers to gamer questions. What a wonderful time to be alive. Come, let us grow ever closer, invisible fake cyber-friends!

16: Character you've hated most? From what game?

Sure, there are some really hatable characters out there, whether they're just smarmy villains (Arl Rendon Howe from Dragon Age) or incredibly difficult to beat (feeling pretty good after some playthroughs of Dragon's Dogma, I finally picked up the expansion, Dark Arisen...every single encounter led to me promptly getting my ass kicked dead, repeatedly). But oh man, if there's one character I'd like to obliterate from the face of gaming, it's this motherfucker:

That's Barry from Alan Wake. He's an agent with that wiseguy, whiny New Jersey accent, which is undoubtedly the worst combination of everything possible. Whenever you're with him, he won't fucking shut up, and he constantly calls you "Al" in this obnoxious, nasally way that even Peg Bundy would find irritating. Ahhh, just looking at his stupid face has me all riled up and trying to resist the urge to punch my computer screen. I hated Barry. I really, really, really hated Barry.

17: What game do you never tell people you play?

I don't have any deep, dark gaming secrets I'm ashamed of. No stockpiles of tentacle-filled eroge or some such, sorry. Well, okay wait...I do indulge in some mindless Diner Dash clickery from time to time. PLEASE DON'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT MY SECRET SHAME

18: A game you wish your friends knew about?

Trust me, if there's a game I want my friends to know about, I will absolutely tell them. Over and over. That said, I will yell about The Last of Us, FTL, and Papers, Please until the cows come home.

The drudgery of bureaucracy has never been so much fun. Also, it just took me three attempts to spell "bureaucracy" correctly.

19: Which game do you think deserves a revival?

BALDUR'S GATE: DARK ALLIANCE PLEASE. Yes, I had to yell that because I feel so strongly. I love those two games, and Champions of Norrath as well. Although Diablo III sort of satisfies my isometric action RPG itch (I should really get that looked at), I would love to see BG: DA remade, rebooted, continued, whatever. So long as there's more of it. 

20: What was the first video game you ever played?

Combat on the Atari 2600, in all its glory. I talked a bit about it here.

21: How old were you when you first played a video game?

Nine or ten? I think? Video games weren't much around before that, at least not at the in-home level. If they were, I would've started earlier, I'm sure!

22: If you could immerse yourself in any game for one day, which game would it be? What would you do?

No brainer: Mass Effect. Flying around the galaxy, landing on planets, wearing spacesuits, meeting aliens? Fucking yes, please.

23: Biggest disappointment you've had in gaming?

Should I say the original ending to Mass Effect 3? Naw, why beat that dead horse (except I'll probably carry that grudge to my grave, honestly)? 

Instead of opening old wounds, I'll say Tomb Raider: Angel of Darkness. The first two games in the series were so wonderful, and then the quality began to slip. It was a gradual decline, though- I still bought every new TR that came along, hoping for an upswing. Then TR: AoD came along- the first Lara Croft on the PS2!- and oh boy, what a buggy, tedious, difficult, dreadful piece of shit. Just terrible. It completely put me off the franchise...until the next one, Legend, came along. Thankfully that was a vast improvement (to put it mildly) and my weakness for Tomb Raider paid off. And, it's obviously been paid off in spades with the 2013 reboot (GLORIOUS GAME). But Angel of Darkness? Go fuck yourself!

Nice texas tuxedo, Lara.

24: Casual, Hardcore, or in the middle?

Oh hardcore, no doubt. I say that without a lick of shame. NOT ONE LICK.

25: Be honest; have you ever used cheats (like ActionReplay or Gameshark)?

I've used some codes. In Grand Theft Autos, I've used codes to lower/eliminate my wanted rating so I can play for more than ten minutes without getting dead/irritated. And, of course, back in "The" "Day" I used the famous Konami Code when playing Contra. FUN FACT: if you enter the Konami Code whilst here at Jill Sandwich (just substitute "return" or "enter" for "start"), you will get a treat. YOU'RE WELCOME.

26: Handheld or console?

Console, although Resident Evil: Revelations almost forced me to pick up a Nintendo 3DS when it was exclusive to that platform. Eventually it was ported to the 360, however, and I could be at ease with my choices once again.

27: Has there ever been a moment that has made you cry?

I'll admit, I found myself a little misty-eyed during the death of Songbird in Bioshock Infinite. I cried actual tears out of my eyeholes at the end of the beginning sequence in The Last of Us. Wasn't expecting that, for sure.

28: Which character's clothes do you wish you owned the most?

I can’t really think of anyone, as I am not a style maven...not to mention, video game clothes tend to be crazy and silly and would look terrible on me. It's weird, but to an uncanny extent I dress (and have always dressed and wonder if I will always dress) like Ellie from The Last of Us (HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT GAME YET), all jeans and long-sleeved shirts under t-shirts and hoodies and Chuck Taylors and the such, albeit without the post-apocalyptic tatters and grime (usually). I don’t know whether to high-five myself or to punch myself for dressing like a 14-year-old.

29: Which is more important, gameplay or story?

While shitty gameplay can certainly turn me off to a game (or even stop me from continuing), story rules supreme for me. A fantastic story is not 100% essential to have good time- I come from the Atari 2600 era, after all- but games with fantastic stories are my favorites and generally stick with me the longest. I mean, I loved the crap out of Gone Home and one could easily argue that the gameplay is negligible and it's only story.

30: A game that hasn't been localized in your country that you think should be localized?

What?

hello I am alive

I know, I'm as surprised as you are! It's sure been a long time, eh? Well, here's what's up: I certainly haven't stopped playing games since the last time I posted...I simply haven't much felt like writing about them very often. A few people have commented here and there that I should maybe write a bit more on the ol' Sandwich (which is super complimentary, by the way, thanks), and I found myself agreeing. So, hi.

There have been a couple of changes for me on the games front over the last year: mostly, I finally got a Playstation 3. It's frickin' boss! Glad to have got my grubby mitts on some PS-exclusive titles, and boy oh boy, a membership in PS+ can't be beat. So many free games. I can't keep up.

There's nothing on the horizon that's got me clamoring for a PS4 or an Xbox One yet (although Elder Scrolls Online is gonna be awfully tempting...). The fact that neither is backwards compatible means I'm going to be waiting for many, many price drops before taking the plunge.

I also finally picked up a copy of Windows for my Mac, and I was so excited to play, like, Star Wars: The Old Republic and Skyrim with mods. However, I quickly discovered that my graphics card is pretty much dooky (and it's integrated, so I can't just upgrade) so I'm still limited in terms of what I can play easily. Oh PC gaming, someday we'll truly be together. Maybe.

Anyway, I thought a good way to ease back into the Jill Sandwich (sounds hot) might be to answer these game questions I found online somewhere. A capital idea! Feel free to answer any in the comments, or answer 'em on your own site and link in the comments. Talkin' games is great fun, after all.

1: Do you try to stay away from walkthroughs?
Yes, unless I'm absolutely stuck somewhere for a long period of time because I can't figure out what to do next. It's usually something like this awful sliding tiles puzzle in Dragon Age 2. I hate these things! But you can't move on until you complete it, so after 15 frustrating minutes, I look up the answer. SO SUE ME.

2: Company you're always loyal to?

Even with all the brouhaha over their latest releases, BioWare games in particular remain Day One purchases for me. Based on how much I love The Last of Us, I might end up adding Naughty Dog to this list (I've only played about ten minutes of Uncharted).

3: Best game you've ever played?
At this point, overall, I'd have to say The Last of Us. It's not the game I've played the most (that would probably be something like Super Mario Kart, which I mainlined in the SNES days). It's not the game I've had the most "fun" playing, and I think the entire universe knows how much I love the Mass Effect series. But my goodness, TLoU is so...satisfying. It's just a fucking great story, told so so well. The characters are unforgettable, and the acting is so so good. Some folks complain about the gameplay, but not me. The combat can be brutal if you're unprepared, but going the stealthy route is sweet. This game is heavy, and it's stuck with me like nothing else.

4: Worst game you've ever played?
Undoubtedly, this infamous piece of shit:

It has nothing to do with the rudimentary graphics (though they're terrible, they're fairly par for the course for the era, really). It's more the incomprehensible game design, frustrating gameplay, and...oh geez, like 30 years later I still want to punch this game.

5: A popular series/game you just can't get into no matter how much you try?
Assassin's Creed. I played through the first one to completion, but it was more something to get through than something to enjoy. Years after it came out, I picked up AC 2 because it was wicked cheap; though it was a vast improvement over the first game in virtually every way, I got bored with the repetitive nature of the missions and stopped before the end. That's it for Assassin's Creed for me, although I see people enjoy AC IV quite a bit, and the one with the female lead character intrigues me. But no! I am done.

While I was a big fan of Grand Theft Auto during the PS2 era, I never finished IV and I have no desire to play V despite the acclaim heaped upon it. I'm tired of the characters and the formula, and it's not fun anymore for me. I'd much rather play anything in the Saints Row series, they're a blast. And I can play as a female character. (At the risk of inciting the usual sexist gamer bullshit, yes, I will say that as I am a woman, being able to play as a woman and to see women represented well in video games is important to me.)

6: A game that's changed you the most?
Has anything really changed me as a person? I don't think so. As a gamer, maybe. I'd say that Resident Evil absolutely cemented my adult-years love affair with games, and Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic turned me on to western RPGs, which remains my favorite genre. But I can't think of anything that's changed me at my core. Like, say, I was a racist and then I played Bioshock Infinite and said to myself, "Oh wait, I've been wrong, racism is bad!" Maybe that's happened to some people, dunno.

7: A game you'll never forget?
Uh, see question 3. There are a lot of games I'll never forget- Silent Hill 2, just to name one. But for "unforgettable experience", for me, that's The Last of Us.

8: Best soundtrack?
Jeremy Soule's work on the Elder Scrolls series is quite lovely. The music in the Mass Effect got less space-tacular as the series went on, but it's all wonderful.


But yes, I totally love anything sci-fi/space-y, so it's no surprise that Ben Prunty's soundtrack for FTL is a fave.


9: A game you turn your volume off every time you play it?
I never do. The idea of listening to my own music during a game boggles my mind.

10: A game you've completely given up on?
I've dropped some JRPGs when they become a grind, but I'd like to think I'll go back to 'em someday when I'm in the right frame of mind. Don't know if I can say the same for Mirror's Edge. I was having such a blast in that game, running and jumping and parkouring all over the place...then the combat started and it was awful. Or maybe I was just awful at it? Regardless, it was awful enough to make me stop playing. Such a bummer!

11: Hardest game you've played?
Someday I'm sure I'll answer with Dark Souls, but for now it sits on a shelf, still wrapped in cellophane. The wonderful things I've heard about it led me to pick it up, but I've also heard that the gameplay is punishingly brutal, so...I can't say I'm looking forward to it, necessarily, as it doesn't sound like something I'll dig. I guess we'll see!

Other than that, the hardest game I've played is probably some old school 8-bit title, maybe Castlevania. Maybe Super Mario Brothers! Never finished either one. Or Paperboy, I always "called it quits" by Day Three. I'm pretty bad at those sorts of games, as much as I enjoy playing them. I mean, I think the highest I ever got on Ms. Pac-Man was a pretzel. Although that might have been just a dream and my true high is a strawberry.

12: Shortest time you've beaten a game in?
I've completed plenty of games in a marathon weekend session. Games with substantial length, I mean: like Mass Effect 3. If I'm into it and I've got the time, I will play until I finish.

13: A game you were the most excited for when it wasn't released yet?
No doubt, 100%, Mass Effect 2 and 3. Both were clear the schedule as soon as the release date is announced, get it Day One, make sweet love to it forever games.

14: A game you think would be cool if it had voice acting?
Most do, I think? Unless this means a voiced protagonist? Hmm. It's not always necessary (what would Portal have gained if Chell spoke throughout? Nothing! In fact, it would have been a lesser game for it, I think), but sometimes it would really enhance the experience...let's go with Dragon's Dogma, where your character looks like a real weirdo for not speaking during all the cut scenes.

15: Which two games do you think would make an awesome crossover?
I immediately thought Left 4 Dead / Resident Evil...then when looking for a suitable picture I learned there's a L4D2 / RE6 crossover out there. I AM A GENIUS.

But, I was thinking more of a Left 4 Dead game that's like the first Resident Evil, with some exploration and puzzle-solving and the such, not simply non-stop action. That would be a dream game for me, no doubt.

Okay, suckers, that's (only) the halfway point for these questions. Before this becomes the longest post in the history of ever, I'm going to stop and pick it up again tomorrow. I feel much closer to myself after answering all these, it's just AMAZING.

These are the voyages...

Recently I had to say goodbye to an old friend: my trusty Mac Mini I got circa 2005. Though she'd never been top of the line (I bought her refurbished), she'd always done what I needed her to do when I needed her to do it. A couple of months ago I started to notice signs that she was wearing down: websites took longer and longer to load (watching video became a particularly painful experience). Programs would take 30 seconds to shutdown- that is, when I didn't have to force quit them because they wouldn't shut down at all. Other times, applications I need to use everyday wouldn't open. I found myself getting slowly shut out of the internet because my girl's outdated processor meant I couldn't upgrade any of my browsers. Though she'd served me faithfully for years, I knew it was time. Today she sits on a shelf in my closet while I have a new friend- a brand new Mac Mini that's...well, I won't bore you (LIKE I HAVEN'T ALREADY) with all the details that make it so super terrific. The point is, I can finally game on my computer.

Well, I'll be able to run just about anything once I get Windows installed; for now, I'm still relegated to the anemic world of Apple gaming.

I tell you all this because it's the reason I came across FTL: Faster Than Light the other day. Had I access to all the games of the world on my computer, I would have skipped by FTL without a backwards glance. The graphics are pleasing, yes, but rudimentary. A strategy game? A simulator? Managing resources? Not my cuppa. But! Hey, it's under $10 and it'll run on Mac? Why, I'd better take a closer look...

As I'd never heard of this game, I looked up a few reviews and noticed that they all had something in common: rather than the standard rundown of graphics, gameplay, plot and the like, each writer told the tale of the crew of his or her ship and, more to the point, how they all died. Every story is different because while elements are similar or the same, the path your ship takes in FTL is largely randomized and no two runs will be identical.

The story is bare bones: you're the captain of a ship holding on to some sensitive information for the Federation. You've got to make your way across 8 sectors of the galaxy to deliver that info while avoiding pirates, slavers, solar flares, ion storms, hostile aliens and more...all while the Rebel fleet is hot on your heels trying to kill you dead. And believe me- kill you dead they will. Or someone else will. You will die very, very frequently, and in the roguelike FTL, it's permadeath. There is no saving, there is no going back, and FTL is difficult and unforgiving...and holy crap, is it fun.

As you can see in the top-down view, most rooms on your ship contain a system: shields, engines, weapons, oxygen, and so on. Each is upgradable (points are purchased with "scrap", FTL's currency), and each system needs power to run. Enemy ships will frequently target one or more of these areas, and as captain, it's up to you to quickly solve the ever-mounting problems before your hull is destroyed (and you and your crew along with it).

In one of my first games, I came across a Rebel ship that had been retrofitted for transport and I had the option to let them go on their merry way or to demand they hand over all their goods. I fancied myself as some sort of scoundrel-type of captain, so I chose the latter...and the Rebels did not simply roll over and give in to my obscene demands. We both powered up our weapons and while my lasers were trying to pew pew through their layers of shields, they launched a missile that promptly took out my cameras and sensors- nearly every room was now blacked our and I couldn't see what was happening in my own ship.

I launched a missile of my own and took down their shields. As I waited for my laser to recharge, I sent a crewman to fix the surveillance equipment. The enemy countered with a missile to my engine room, which destroyed that and with it, any chance that I may simply power up my FTL and jump away from this skirmish.

Finally, I'd chipped away at their weapons enough to disable them; at least I'd have some time to breathe without them firing on me. Of course, as I'd delegated my crew to repair duty, so would the Rebels; their weapons would be back online before long.

I sent another crewman to fix the engines and then the surveillance system came back online: that's when I saw that the missile that had taken out the cameras had also blasted a hole in my fuselage. In all of my scrambling since that first direct hit, I hadn't noticed the oxygen meter steadily counting down...and now, O2 levels were at about 42%. My crewman began frantically trying to repair the damage, but he simply wasn't fast enough. My entire crew asphyxiated, and I have to say...if I were those Rebels, I would have boarded and taken all of my goods just to rub it in my dead face.

Mind you, I was woefully unprepared for that battle. It was early on in my playthrough and I was lacking sufficient weapons, shield strength, everything. As another playthrough taught me, though, you can never be too prepared.

The Cocoa II (yes, you can name your ships and crewmembers) was a force to be reckoned with: I had offensive and defensive drones, an automated robot dude who could board enemy ships and wreak havok, and a full crew of varying alien species. My shields were substantial. I'd freed some slaves, helped out some stranded ships, bought long-range scanners...this run, I thought, would be the one to deliver that oh-so sensitive information.

Then I landed at a beacon planted too close to a sun. And there was an angry enemy ship there, too, who didn't care that a solar flare was imminent. They fired up their weapons.

Before I could react, a laser cut across my hull and took out my engines. Their drone knocked my shields down to half-strength. A missile took out my weapons. My offensive drone was firing a steady volley of lasers at my enemy, but they were strong and their shields weren't budging.

Then came that solar flare, and suddenly the room housing my oxygen regulators was on fire. I opened some blast doors and an airlock in an attempt to snuff out the fire before this crew was asphyxiated.

And then a signal sounded: the enemy had boarded my ship, and they were quickly pummeling my weaker crewmen to death.

More enemy fire. Another solar flare. Within 30 seconds, the Cocoa II had gone from being my pride and joy to being completely obliterated, turned into so much cosmic dust and completely forgotten in the ongoing Federation-Rebel war.

But the Cocoa III! She'll be the one to bring me home to glory. I tells ya, death has never been so addictive.

And what are YOU playing?

The Gameological Society asked me recently about what games I'm playing and if you want to read my answers, well guess what?? YOU CAN.

I would only add that I picked up FTL: Faster Than Light last night and was immediately hooked like it was my first sweet sweet whiff of meth!

Okay, so I don't go around whiffing meth. Hugs not drugs! I also recently started watching Breaking Bad and I'm totally hooked on that, too.

Anyway, I'll talk more in-depthly about FTL very soon. For now let it suffice to say: it's just plain awesome. She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid.

Dragon's WHAT, now?

As you may or may not know (or CARE, to be sure), I am a ginormous fan of western RPGs. Oh yeah, the soap-opera-ness, the world-roamin', the build-your-own-protagonistin'...games like Dragon Age and Oblivion please me the mostest. I thought I'd have naught of this ilk to play until the Skyrim expansion Dawnguard hits later this month, but then lo! I started reading reviews of a game called Dragon's Dogma and it soon became apparent that YES. This game and I were meant to be.

You're going about your business in your wee fishing village one fine day when the bright blue sky darkens as the wings of a mighty dragon blot out the sun! As it turns out, this dragon is a total jerk- when you make a meager attempt at defending yourself, he plucks out your heart, swallows it whole, and takes off for parts unknown.

Despite no longer having a heart beating in your chest, you soon awaken for you are...The Arisen! And it's time to leave your wee fishing village to find that dragon and reclaim what's yours.

You know how it goes: assemble a crew, embark on quests as you build up enough power to face the big boss, talk to denizens of cities near and far...sounds like a pretty generic fantasy RPG, right? Well, it is and it isn't. Certainly there are familiar elements at play and sure, Gransys is definitely a Tolkien-lite kinda world. In their first attempt at a western RPG, however, Japanese developer Capcom changes up the formula in some truly refreshing ways.

The biggest of these ways is evident in the merrie bande of fighters you lead- rather than recruiting a gang of companions from all around the game map (à la Dragon Age) or asking/hiring a follower to accompany you for a while (à la Skyrim), the Arisen is, by rights, given control over the Pawn Guild. Pawns are soulless fighters who hail from the Rift, and they'll fight at your side throughout the game.

Early on, you create a Primary Pawn- modifying appearance, behavior, gender, class, etc- who tags along for the entire adventure. You can choose two more pre-crafted Secondary Pawns as well. Your Primary levels up with you, and you can outfit him or her as you acquire new gear; Secondary Pawns stay as-is, so you'll need to visit the Rift to swap 'em out as you outgrow them or you want to change the class makeup of your party.

Cool, right? Even cooler: if you're playing online, your Primary can be chosen as a Secondary to other online Dragon's Dogma players, and likewise you can choose your Secondaries from Pawns other players have created. He or she will return with gifts given by other players as well as quest knowledge.

Capcom has also changed up the rules about class and leveling up: sure, your character levels through experience gained, but you don't need to worry about stats...which I found to be a pleasant change from the norm, actually. Strength and the such can be modified through the use of gear, but when you hit a new level you simply...gain more health, power, stamina, etc. Though you choose a "vocation" at the outset- fighter, mage, or strider (rogue), of course- you can switch at any time if you're feeling bored. As each vocation progresses, you can choose more advanced forms or hybrids. I started as a strider and eventually became an assassin, a fighter/strider mix. Next time I'll go for a strider/mage mix, because wielding a magic bow sounds mighty appealing.

The one downside to the Pawns? They never, ever shut up. Ever. EVARRRR. As you travel, they talk incessantly- whether it's offering quest advice or simply blurting out things like "What a large tree!", there are three people behind you yapping all the time. It would be annoying if it weren't so hilarious...or maybe vice versa.

You'll be hearing them a lot because the world of Gransys is largely tread on foot- fast travel is a privilege, not a right, and it's earned far into the game. Even then, it's only achieved via special crystals that are incredibly rare- you plant them wherever you like and reach them via other special crystals. This really allows you to experience the world, but it can also be a bit tedious- sometimes you simply don't want to walk from one end of the map to the other, you know? But, leaving areas for good (or never exploring much) means you'll miss out on plenty of quests.

I missed out on some quests simply because of my biggest peeve with Dragon's Dogma: the save system. You can save anytime you like, but the game also auto-saves...and you only have one save file. There's no going back! I discovered this when walking through an innocuous door triggered the final quest and an auto-save- sure, I promptly turned myself around, but several other quests were immediately canceled because they could no longer be completed after that point. It makes my gamer OCD/completionist brain hurt.

Fighting is a blast in Dragon's Dogma. Yeah, there are RPG staples like spiders, rats, and goblins, sure...but Gransys is also populated by enormous creatures straight out of mythology: cyclopes, harpies, chimeras, griffins, and more all roam the land freely. For most of them, there's a Shadow of the Colossus-style angle that can be exploited- grab on to a writhing head of a hydra or climb up the back of a golem and hack away. It's fun, it's difficult (oh, I died so many times in this game, and some battles last upwards of 10-15 minutes), and it never gets old.

You'll find, too, that the world changes vastly from day to night, and Gransys under darkness is no joke. The monsters are tougher, and the only light comes courtesy of the small lantern tied at your waist. Is that shape ahead a rock, or a cyclops waiting in ambush? To what manner of beast do those glowing red eyes in the distance belong? And let me tell you, I thought I'd tired of zombies, but Dragon's Dogma features the absolute creepiest undead I've seen since...well, since Capcom's seminal Resident Evil series.

Though I truly loved the game- it's a really good time- it's not without some...quirks that detract from the play. I mean, no one seems to notice (or care) that the mighty Arisen is a total mute. This is not a voiceless protagonist where you get to choose a line of dialogue from time to time that might give your character some sense of...well, character. All you get to do is pick a yes or a no, an accept or a do not accept from time to time. The cutscenes are well-rendered and the Arisen has some emotive facial expressions, but no more than that. It's just kind of...weird. Particularly when people fall in love with you.

That's right, it's a western RPG so there must be some form of romance, right? It's there in Dragon's Dogma, but it's convoluted and broken beyond all reason. Doing quests make people fall in love with you...so while you give a shopkeeper a fancy idol in exchange for better gear, look out! He or she (gender don't matter none in DD) may prove to be your love interest. Yup, it's out of your control for the most part, and who you'll end up with is largely a mystery until it happens. After completing her quest, one broad decided she was in love with me and moved into my house- into my house!- without my permission. I had my eye on someone else, however, so I was left with no choice but to throw this poor lovestruck girl off of a cliff. I'd say don't judge me, but perhaps the game itself judged me: my "beloved", after all, changed from one ending to the next. Yes, Dragon's Dogma has more endings than Return of the King, though I'm not complaining about that. It was odd, though, to walk off into the sunset not with the person I'd already walked off into a sunset with, but with...a total surprise.

Despite its flaws, Dragon's Dogma fell right into place alongside other western RPGs I love. I hope there's meaty DLC in the works, or a sequel...and I certainly hope Capcom doesn't give up on this strange new world.

And ooh, I hope that "What a large tree!" becomes the new "arrow in the knee".

And here's a trailer that shows a bit o' gameplay:

Whoa.

NO SPOILERS IN THE POST - SPOILERS in the comments!

So I knew I would clear a block of time when Mass Effect 3 arrived, like I did for ME2, so I could just play until completion. There has been completion.

And over the last 12 hours, as I've been thinking about it- this ending that will set, at least, The Internet on fire- I've literally gone from

WHAT IN THE HELL WAS THAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME? RAGE RAGE

to

thinking it's absolutely the most ingenious ending to a video game ever.

This requires faith in what's to come, but even thinking about it...I am completely blown away. And I'm blown away by the process it took for me to completely flip my opinion- that the game provides an answer that is not clear cut and/or easy. I'm stunned.

Of course, maybe I'm wrong and that's that. We shall see.

Now hurry up and finish, everyone, so we can discuss!

Again: SPOILERS IN THE COMMENTS