Jill Sandwich

Whoa.

2012-03-11T12:19:00.004-07:00

NO SPOILERS IN THE POST - SPOILERS in the comments!

So I knew I would clear a block of time when Mass Effect 3 arrived, like I did for ME2, so I could just play until completion. There has been completion.

And over the last 12 hours, as I've been thinking about it- this ending that will set, at least, The Internet on fire- I've literally gone from

WHAT IN THE HELL WAS THAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME? RAGE RAGE

to

thinking it's absolutely the most ingenious ending to a video game ever.

This requires faith in what's to come, but even thinking about it...I am completely blown away. And I'm blown away by the process it took for me to completely flip my opinion- that the game provides an answer that is not clear cut and/or easy. I'm stunned.

Of course, maybe I'm wrong and that's that. We shall see.

Now hurry up and finish, everyone, so we can discuss!

Again: SPOILERS IN THE COMMENTS

the happiest tale ever told

2012-03-08T09:51:00.002-08:00

the saddest tale ever told

2012-03-06T14:14:00.003-08:00

Let me just begin by saying: I am not playing Mass Effect 3 right now. "BUT," you say. "It has been available all day! What's going on? This is disconcerting."

Indeed it is, my friends. Indeed it is.

The short of it: Amazon.com has screwed the pooch on this one so badly that...that...I JUST DON'T KNOW. Sit back and let me tell you the saddest and most boring tale ever told: that of a huge Mass Effect nerd who is not currently playing Mass Effect 3 (me).

No really, it's boring- you've been warned.

Way back in June- June! JUNE! JUUUUUUUUNNNNNE!- I spotted the ME3 Collector's Edition on Amazon and immediately pre-ordered. Into my cart it went! Completed the sale I did! Waiting I began! Heck, the game may have still had a tentative 2011 release date at the time, but I did not care. BioWare stated that the CE would be limited in quantity, but I did not care. My order was placed as early as could be. When the time came, Amazon would charge my card and send my game. Hooray!

Release day eventually began to draw near, and I thought "Hmm. I will check and see if Amazon is offering release-day shipping/arrival for pre-orders. That was what I chose when I pre-ordered Skyrim and verily, I would like to receive Mass Effect 3 on March 6." So I checked, and there was no option. Okay, I could wait a couple of days I GUESS.

Yesterday- the day before the US launch!- I checked my order. Still open, with an estimated delivery date of March 17th. Whaaaaa? That seemed...excessive. I clicked on the actual product, and found this message on the screen:

Due to high demand (and possibly the imminent Reaper invasion), we have unfortunately run out of our pre-order allocation for Mass Effect 3 - Collector's Edition. We are looking to secure additional allocation from the publisher and will update this page if that occurs. Please note -- if you have already pre-ordered this edition -- do not cancel as you may not be able to re-order.

I figured YEAH, but I pre-ordered in JUNE, mofos, so mine should be, like, the first one out the door.

This morning, I woke up with an email giving me a code for my Amazon pre-order bonus DLC- some assault rifle or something. Yay! The game must be in transit! I checked Amazon. Order is still open, delivery estimated- March 17. I checked my bank account- the amount is "pending", but has essentially been taken out of my account.

I call around town, figuring I'll buy one, then when the Amazon one arrives I'll return it. No dice- it's sold out everywhere.

I poke around yon Internette, seeing if anyone else had any issues. I found a forum where someone mentioned Amazon being sold out, and another person responded with a "nuh uh, click this"- and it was a link to the same product on a different Amazon page. Add to cart! Just like any other new product that is in stock.

So, I immediately bought it and opted for 1-day shipping...though I still didn't cancel the other order, figuring better safe than sorry. Another pending debit on my bank account appeared...and the item is now "expected in stock" on the 8th, and I should have it on the 9th. The original item page is still up, and the corresponding order is still listed for delivery on the 17th.

I just went to check Amazon again on a lark (about three hours after I placed my second order), and I guess it's officially "sold out", now. The Collector's Edition is listed as being available only from other sellers, and it's already $130.

Will I get a Collector's Edition in the mail on Friday, or not? Will I get another copy a week later? Or will I get a cancellation from Amazon with a ""Sorry, sold out"? I have no clue and it's fairly infuriating. Not only because...you know...I really want to be playing the game right now, but because fuck you, Amazon.

30-Day Mass Effect Challenge: Day 10

2012-03-04T08:31:00.003-08:00

Favorite weapon(s)

I always do Kasumi's loyalty quest so I can pick up the Locust submachine gun as early as possible. My Shepard is a vanguard, and the SMG is about as heavy as she can roll, and Locust is the best, plain and simple.

Later on Shepard gets advanced weapon training, and I always choose sniper rifles because sniping is just so much damn fun.

As for heavy weapons, the Cain is amazing- launch a nuclear warhead!- but I tend to have the Arc Projector with me at all times. It's a chain lightning gun, and it's great for taking down heavy mechs.

30-Day Mass Effect Challenge: Day 9

2012-03-04T08:14:00.004-08:00

Best piece of DLC

Without a doubt, the best DLC is the alternate costume pack #2!

No wait, what I meant to say is Lair of the Shadow Broker.

There's actually a lot of terrific DLC for Mass Effect 2- Arrival and Overlord are pretty bitchin', but come on. Nothing holds a candle to Shadow Broker!

I think of it a bit like Shepard's loyalty mission, particularly if you're in a romance with Liara- helping her out and taking down the GD Shadow Broker helps clear Shep's head for the suicide mission.

The gameplay is varied, the locations even moreso. There's humor, drama, romance, and a never-before-seen alien species. There are a couple of boss battles, including one against fellow SPECTRE and all-around BAMF Tela Vasir, who cuts Shepard down to size in more ways than one.

Then there's Liara herself, who has gone through a great deal of change in the two years since the events in Mass Effect. She's become her own person- one whose plans may not always align with Shepard's any longer. Focused on revenge to the point of obsession, Liara has hardened and become a total badass in her own right. And I love- love- that the major plotline of the mission is a "damsel in distress" scenario, and for once it's a woman doing the rescuing of a man- and that it's not her boyfriend she's out to save. It may seem like a small thing, but BioWare has flipped gender (and genre) conventions on their head.

On top of all the great story and combat, Lair of the Shadow Broker sprinkles delightful goodies all over the player once you've taken over the Broker's base, in the form of moolah, resources, crew member dossiers that provide huge amounts of insight into everyone on your squad, and surveillance videos from around the galaxy, which are often good for a laugh.

Lair of the Shadow Broker isn't just my favorite piece of DLC, it's one of my favorite missions in all of Mass Effect.

30-Day Mass Effect Challenge: Day 8

2012-03-02T10:54:00.004-08:00

Anything you wish they had kept from Mass Effect in Mass Effect 2?

Mako, baby, I miss you.

I loved tooling around in that frequently-frustrating thing! Ah, the exploration. Coming across all the little unexpected goodies- an abandoned dig site here, a giant skull from an unknown creature there- busting around in the Mako is part of what gives Mass Effect that true sci-fi feel. I don't know why they ditched it completely in ME2. The shuttle was handy, but it was all get in - do the mission - get out. Maybe because matters were a little more urgent and pressing in the sequel? That does not bode well for a Mako-endowed ME3, where shit is really going down RIGHT NOW. Bah!

But then they gave us that P.O.S Hammerhead and UGH- is it made out of papier-maiché? Like, three hits from a turret and it's on fire.

Another thing from Mass Effect they should have kept in the sequel: removable helmets. I miss out on some sweet bonuses (and aesthetics) because I never wear any armor with a helmet or face mask...because they never come off. It seems like a small thing to complain about, but I want to see Shepard's face in dialogue scenes. And it's flat-out ridiculous when Shepard does something like drink right through the visor.

Other than that, yeah, I miss having so many RPG elements with regard to each character. Talk about streamlining! And level caps are always a drag.

But what's past is past! Onto the future: the new launch trailer is here! I see Jack! I hear Liara! Tali seems sad! I have feelings! I don't want everyone to die!

30-Day Mass Effect Challenge: Day 7

2012-03-01T11:24:00.003-08:00

Favorite alien species

Duh, asari.

I like the calm world-view their 1000+ year lifespan affords them. I love their military prowess. I love that their monogendered, pansexualness means that they can mate with any gender from any species- not because oh, it's so sessy, but because oh, it's so insidious. In the Mass Effect universe, asari appeal to every species through some sort of...is it shapeshifting ability? Mind control? I don't know if that's been specified, but the point is, asari appear essentially humanoid to humans, salarian to salarians, and so on. And if they do mate with someone from another species, the babies are still asari. That is some sly take-over-the-universe shit!

Oh, and I love elcor, too. I am just saying.

30-Day Mass Effect Challenge: Day 6

2012-02-29T11:58:00.002-08:00

Favorite sidequest

No doubt, Mass Effect blows ME2 out of the galaxy when it comes to sidequests. Not only is it simply a matter of quantity (there are about twice as many sidequests in the first game), but for the most part they're a bit...mmm, beefier, I guess. Don't get me wrong, Mass Effect 2 has some great ones- the first time I wandered around the wreckage of the Estevanico, worried it was going to teeter off the cliff, I frequently held my breath. And checking out the Normandy crash site? Pretty haunting. But too often the ME2 sidequests were just go here, set a timer, run! , and as a result they felt a bit like padding...not that I don't do them all during every run.

The events in Mass Effect were far more engaging, I thought. Wiping out pockets of geth infiltrators, helping to defend an outpost from rachni invaders, negotiating with a cult leader, investigate the nefarious dealings of Cerberus...all more substantial than simply, I don't know, turning on a shield generator. But more importantly, nearly every ME sidequest had dialogue, which infinitely helps to make them engaging. In the sequel, Shepard and her pals were nearly silent through every sidequest. It's jarring. And it stinks!

My favorite from either game? I Remember Me, which is available to a Shepard with a colonist background. Shepard is charged with talking down a recently-rescued slave from committing suicide. It's heavy stuff, very well-written and completely heartbreaking.

huggin' it out with Talitha

30-Day Mass Effect Challenge: Day 5

2012-02-28T09:09:00.004-08:00

Favorite loyalty mission

But they're all so good!

Okay, I'm not wild about Grunt's, but even that is saved by having an awesome reunion with Wrex. But really, though each loyalty mission is different in terms of the gameplay style, the amount of combat, and how much Shepard actually has to do, they're all quite emotionally engaging. Shep has to make some tough decisions- or encourage others to do so- as her companions sort out shit from their pasts in order to better focus on the present.

I love Samara's, wherein you accompany her to Omega so she can find and kill her daughter Morinth. Shepard working his/her way through the nightclub to draw Morinth's attention is hilarious, from punching out a lecherous turian to this:

(seriously, "I do wanna think that!" makes me laugh out loud every damn time I hear it)

Then, if you successfully arouse Morinth's interest, there's the BAMF showdown between her and her Justicar mother, which culminates in Shepard choosing which one will die.

Great stuff! But my favorite? My favorite, I think, is Tali's.

Visit the quarian flotilla, get all And Justice for All as you defend your bestie against bogus treason charges, and kill a shit ton of geth...yes please. There's tough combat. It greatly develops Tali's character and her relationship with Shepard. You help steer the course of the frickin' galaxy as you advise the quarians as they consider all-out war with the geth. And you get to hear voice work by Claudia Black in the role of Admiral Xen. Ain't nothin' not to love here!

You know, I just thought- why don't the quarians have clear face masks? Would it make a difference to them? At least they could see each other, geez. I know it's a conceit for the game to make 'em more mysterious and all, but in their universe, what the heck?

Also, for some reason, I thought maybe quarians do this so they can make out with each other (or Shepard) easier:

Also, I'm very very tired.

30-Day Mass Effect Challenge: Day 4

2012-02-27T12:13:00.004-08:00

Favorite storyline mission

Easy peasy: Virmire (Mass Effect)

What begins as a lovely Mako ride on the beach in search of an infiltration team with whom the Council lost contact turns into a real kick in the quad real quick...and at least one of your teammates will die. I mean permanently die, not comic book come back to life in twenty issues die!

Battle your way through countless geth...meet up with the salarian infiltration team who informs you that Saren's base is here on Virmire. And he's building a krogan army thanks to a possible cure for the genophage. Uh oh.

Wrex gets up in your grill about that genophage cure, rightfully concerned about the future of his people. Everyone points guns at everyone. Is disaster averted, or does Wrex bite it right there on the sand?

Your team splits up- based on your decision, either Ashley or Kaidan will head off with the salarians to create a distraction. The other will stay behind and arm a nuke that you're going to use to blow up Saren's base.

Choose two more team members and lead tham into the base and find evidence of Sovereign's hinky mind-control powers with oodles of indoctrinated salarians milling about within and without prison cells. Decide their fate! Set them free, or leave them to die in the blast. Meet up with one of Saren's scientists and decide her fate- tell her to split, or kill her.

Inside the base, fight your way through more salarians, krogan, husks, and geth. Then when you come across another prothean communication beacon...effing Sovereign shows up and makes with the smack talk.

Shit goes down outside- geth are swarming around the nuke! Run back and help! But now the geth are swarming around the distraction team! You can only save Ashley or Kaidan. One of your crew must be left behind to die in the nuclear blast.

Then Saren decides to finally show up, riding around on his space scooter and throwing explosives at you.

Fisticuffs ensue! Shepard gets in a nice haymaker before it's time for the nuke to detonate. Haul your saved teammate onto the Normandy and get the eff outta there. BOOM. Have some cries.

Yes indeed, Virmire is one of the most epic storyline missions in the series. It has everything! Ah the action! Oh, the pathos! Ooh, the music!

I love the suicide mission in Mass Effect 2 almost as much, but Virmire is just the most.

30-Day Mass Effect Challenge: Day 3

2012-02-26T10:46:00.005-08:00

Favorite companion(s) in Mass Effect 2

This choice is much harder because there are so many more companions this time and I like a good number of them. I might have to choose...more than one. That's life on the edge, friends. Anyway, here are the contenders for my heart!

Kasumi Goto

If you're all "Kasumi WHOto?", then dig it: she's a companion available with the DLC "Stolen Memory". The DLC itself is fun- a heist caper providing a nice change of pace from the usual. A master thief, Kasumi's got a pretty useful skill set and a great sense of humor. I bring her along on other missions once in a while, but on board the Normandy she's a little lackluster due to her DLC status. "Conversations" with her are strictly one-sided, though she proves to be insightful regarding all your crewmates.

Zaeed Massani

Zaeed is the other DLC companion, and interacting with him on the Normandy is the same deal it is when you talk to Kasumi- one-sided. He's a badass merc jerk, but I like him okay. I don't usually bring him on missions, though, even if his combat skills are useful. I just don't think about him, I guess.

Jacob Taylor

Oh, Jacob, you are so boring! Boring boring boring! And not particularly useful in a fight! And when I try to talk to you, you usually get snippy with me! I hate that it's always you meeting and greeting the new recruits and offering up your unbidden opinion on everything! Therefore, after Freedom's Progress, you stay on the Normandy. Then I trot you out for your loyalty mission, then I stuff you back in your room for the rest of the game. Jacob must have fans, right? I've never heard tell of one. Still, Jacob's not my least favorite ME2 companion. That honor goes to...

Urdnot Grunt

This guy. People love Grunt, I know. Maybe simply because he's krogan? I don't know. I don't get it. All he talks about is fighting, but not in an interesting way, like, say, Wrex telling old tales. Grunt is just "I want to kill something! Grr!" and that's it. He really bugs me, so again- on the Normandy you stay, except during your super-dull loyalty mission (come on- yes, there are some cool krogan to talk to and the such, but the mission itself is lamesauce). Grunt, I know your biggest crime is not being Wrex, but still. You suck.

Jack / Subject Zero

Hoo boy, people hate Jack! From her homicidal tendencies to her belt-as-shirt to her whole look and personality and everything, most folks loathe poor old Subject Zero. Me, I think she's effing hilarious. She's a must-have in my party from the moment I recruit her- not only because of her kick-ass biotics, but because of her banter, which frequently makes me laugh out loud.

Garrus Vakarian

Garrus gets a major personality upgrade in Mass Effect 2! It seems that taking a missile to the face gave him a sense of humor in addition to a tapestry of scars. I like him so much more here than in the original game, and yet...and yet...I still rarely have him tag along on adventures. There are just too many companions I like more than him. Sorry, Garrus- but don't worry. You are number one in pretty much everyone else's book.

Thane Krios

Mehhhhh. That's kind of the only reaction Thane elicits from me: mehhhhh. He's alright. I suspect he's wonderful if you have him for a FemShep romance option- he's all smoooooth or something. But otherwise, I dunno. He stays on the ship.

Samara

Samara, what is with your outfit? With the high heels and so much BOOBS everywhere? I mean, dress however you want, but geez. See, there's Morinth, your Ardat-Yakshi daughter, who literally uses sex to kill. She's seducing her way through the galaxy wearing...a commando uniform that pretty much covers every inch of her body except her head. Then there's you, a warrior monk of unbelievable power, fighting your way through the galaxy in the name of justice. You're not interested in sex at all (YES I ASKED)- only righteousness and battle- and yet you wear...high heels and a shirt open practically to your waist. What gives?

But! All that aside, I loves me some Samara. I wish she were available in the first round of recruiting, because there is not enough time in the game after you get her to experience all of her awesomeness. She is a beast in battle (particularly if you unlock 'reave'), and I really love the bond that develops between her and Shepard. I find her life to be quite fascinating, and I really wish she was slated to be a full companion in ME3.

Mordin Solus

Oh muh gah, Mordin. He is the best companion I never take anywhere! I just love him, though I always leave him in the lab. Of course there's the Gilbert & Sullivan moment, but it's the Shepard don't hit on me conversation that really kills me. LOVE.

Miranda Lawson

Here's another character people seem to really hate. It's understandable- she's a Grade-A Bitch for a good chunk of time after you meet her, and yeah, nearly every conversation with her throughout the game revolves around her griping about being "perfect".

But! I don't see "Wah, I'm perfect" as one of those complaints some girls make- you know, when they sigh "Oh, I'm so fat" or something when they are not at all fat whatsoever, simply because they want your response of "Oh, you are not at all fat whatsoever". The thing is, your personal aesthetic preferences aside, Miranda is perfect. As she says, "it's just a fact"- she was made that way. She was made! She wasn't born, she was crafted from a pile of genetic goo (scientific term) by her power monger father. Miranda's "whining", as some see it, is all about her trying to figure out her purpose and her place in the world. It's a sort of universal thing- why am I here? I like the fact that she struggles with those kind of questions, and I really like that her relationship with Shepard evolves into one based on loyalty, friendship, and trust.

And I like that she basically tells The Illusive Man to eff off.

And, her "perfection" extends to combat- she has the most broadly-useful skill set out of any companion. Some are superior at fighting organics, some at fighting synthetics, while Miranda is great against everybody. She's indispensable as far as I'm concerned! Would love to have her in ME3.

Legion

That Legion, he's pretty dope with his teaching me all about the geth and his Shepard-worship. That Legion, he's recruited so damn late in the game that he never gets to go anywhere with me except for the geth base during his loyalty mission.

Tali'Zorah vas Neema

If I loved Tali in Mass Effect (I DID), then I lurve luff loave her in Mass Effect 2. She's all grown up and a highly respected member of the quarian fleet, leading teams into dangerous territory and getting shit done. Unfortunately, I don't find her quite as helpful on the battlefield as I did in Mass Effect, which is understandable. The types of enemies faced is drastically different in the second game. I still bring her along as often as I can, though, because Tali is my homegirl.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, it doesn't make much sense that you can't romance Tali as FemShep given Tali's behavior during the game. She's flirty and nervous quite frequently, especially when talking about linking envirosuits and how intimate it all is and all that. After her loyalty quest (if, you know, you earn her loyalty but WHY WOULDN'T YOU IT'S TALI YOU MONSTER), her dossier (at the Shadow Broker's pad) updates to show she's been installing nerve stim packages to her suit and researching human body language and mating and courtship rituals. What the heck? She's clearly crushing on FemShep, BioWare- just let them make out!

Again, it's probably pretty obvious who my favorites are. That's right- favorites. I honestly can't choose just one. So...

Samara, Miranda, and Tali

Okay, if you put a gun to my head and you were all "ONLY ONE!", I would choose Tali. But then I'd ask why you thought it was so important you had to bring a gun into it.

30-Day Mass Effect Challenge: Day 2

2012-02-25T08:03:00.005-08:00

Favorite companion(s) in Mass Effect

This decision has taken me no time! But let's meet all the contestants, shall we?

Ashley Williams

I don't know why I like Ash, and I certainly don't know why she's pretty much always my Virmire survivor. She's xenophobic, although she softens up in that regard a little bit. She's all religious, which is fine, but it's nothing she and my Shep would bond over. And the poetry! She's such a weirdo, but she's lively enough that I like her. Still, I only take her on missions where I pretty much have to (ie the first time truckin' around the Citadel).

Kaidan Alenko

Oh, Kaidan, you're nice. But so boring! And in the early stages of the game you just die, like, instantly and repeatedly...so after I'm not stuck with you, I tend to leave you in the depths of the Normandy, where you stare at screens and wipe the sweat away from your glistening brow. Then I leave you to die on Virmire. I'm sorry.

Actually, I did a playthrough once where I forced myself to bring Kaidan along on every mission and he wasn't so bad. I enjoyed talking to him and when he levels up some he can kick a bit of ass. Hmm. Maybe I should let him make it to Horizon in Mass Effect 2 once in a while.

Urdnot Wrex

Wrex is my bro! Simple as that. Who would ever kill Wrex? Only people with no souls. But! To be honest, I don't keep him in my party all that often. I don't know why, since he can certainly be a tank. Just one of those things.

Garrus Vakarian

I know people really, really love Garrus. They really do. I am not one of those people! I like him okay, I guess, but mostly he kind of bugs me. He's super whiny. Maybe I just don't level him up enough, but I don't see where he's a combat powerhouse or anything...so, stay by the Mako, Garrus, and allow me to change your opinion on everything with my mighty powers of persuasion!

Tali'Zorah nar Rayya

Yesssss, Tali. She is a party mainstay from the moment we meet on through to the end of the game, handling all the tech skills (like...umm...unlocking doors) and dispatching geth with ease. I always help her out on her Pilgrimage, and I listen to every long, boring story she tells.

Liara T'Soni

A lot of people can't stand Liara, and I get that: she's a huge dork, coltish and weird, and on a level that maybe shouldn't matter but actually does, some of her VA's line-readings are...terrible. But I don't care! Liara is the best. She's a scientist, a big ol' archaeology nerd who gets herself into trouble and fumbles her way through social interactions...and yet, she's strong. She's been essentially on her own since a (relatively) young age, enduring scorn from her fellow asari for her choices. She's estranged from her powerful mother, who she ends up battling to the death. And man, she is a menace on the field, throwing enemies around like ragdolls. Liara has saved my ass on many occasions during a fight...then afterward, we make out and probably talk about history! She is all win.

So, if it's not super obvious by now, my favorite character from Mass Effect is...

Liara T'Soni.

30-Day Mass Effect Challenge: Day 1

2012-02-24T10:16:00.008-08:00

Sure, I can't squeeze in all 30 days before Mass Effect 3 hits, but I feel like doing it anyway, so there. Feel free to play along in the comments, or if you want to play along on your own site, link it up!

Do you prefer Mass Effect or Mass Effect 2?

Don't make me choose a favorite child!

It's a tough call, to be honest, although comparing the two is a bit apples and oranges, they feel so different to me.

Mass Effect hit me out of nowhere- "I really dig Knights of the Old Republic," thought I. "I will try this game!" and WHAM- I was in love. Even though it vaguely follows the same pathline as KotOR, ME was really like nothing I'd ever played before. The missions! The companions! The exploration! The Shepard! The epicness of it all truly dazzled me and I played it so much I thought my roommate would end up killing me or smashing the disc.

Along came Mass Effect 2. I got it the day it shipped, but I didn't crack it open until the weekend so I could basically do nothing but play it interrupted. I was that excited. I don't know what I was anticipating, necessarily, but I don't think I anticipated quite so many changes. My companions, mostly gone! Liara is being such a bitch (DID WHAT WE SHARED MEAN NOTHING)! Where's my inventory? Everyone has, like, four abilities now? But I have email!

It took some getting used to, but I loved it as much as I'd figured I would. It lacked that certain wonder of its predecessor- the galaxy was no longer new. Naivety and wide-eyed exploration was a thing of the past. Shepard was tired and frequently drunk, working with an organization she loathed toward a seemingly impossible goal. Mass Effect 2 is a pretty dark game.

For all the changes, ME2 feels more solid, I guess, than ME. While it's not as customizable in terms of abilities and skills, there's really no denying that the gameplay is tighter and better in the sequel. And while inventory is one of the best things in an RPG, I'd rather have none than that unwieldy mess we got in Mass Effect. But if we're talking story in general, the first game is tighter and better. Sigh.

Boy, that's a lot of blah blah blah...and I still don't know the answer. Maybe I should just base the decision SOLELY on which game I've played more often, or which one I'll pop in when I feel like firing up the Normandy. Otherwise, I'll be here forever. So, I choose...

Mass Effect 2.

If Mass Effect had the same gameplay style as the sequel I would have chosen...ARGH I have to stop. THAT WAS SO HARD TO DO.

Where do I begin?

2012-02-24T09:30:00.005-08:00

The other night I fired up Mass Effect to begin my super canon totally complete epic do everything ME 1 - ME 2 run in anticipation of the March 6th release of Mass Effect 3. My FemShep needs to be ready to roll for galaxy savin', you know? (OH MUH GAH I CAN'T WAIT). In fact, this run is the only thing that got me to take Skyrim out of my Xbox 360...which I think is going to be Mass Effected for a long time to come.

But when grabbing the game off the shelf I noticed that for the first time in my life, I have a stockpile of games I haven't yet played. A stockpile. This is really not like me at all- I tend to be a very...mmm, orderly gamer, I guess. I buy a game, I play it to completion, I move on to the next. Though I own several platforms, I don't ever play more than one game at a time- my brain can't handle it! Okay, maybe I could handle playing Super Mario World alongside something else, but that's because SMW doesn't require questing and thinking. The idea of trying to go at Mass Effect and Skyrim at the same time gives me hives. Some people can do it, but I cannot.

So, as Dragon Age II and then Skyrim ate up my time, unplayed games have piled up. Games I was given (how nice!) or games that I've been wanting to play forever (hello, Batman) or games that were so cheap I couldn't resist (hi there, Enslaved brand new for $8) have been waiting for me to recover from my BioWare/Bethesda sickness.

Will that day ever come? I don't know, but here's what's waiting for me, should I pull through:

I don't even know where to start in all that. I just hope to play them all before I croak!

What about you? Do you play more than one game at a time? Anything sitting around neglected, waiting for you to play it?

cough cough

2012-02-10T09:54:00.000-08:00

People! I don't know where I've been. All I know is that I was surrounded by darkness, I had no feeling in my toes, and everything smelled slightly of Hubba Bubba Tangy Tropical. It's possible that I'd gone through some kind of temporal wormhole and I was trapped under my very own bed in 1981, I can't say. All I know for sure is that suddenly I heard this...

...and now here I am.

And just in time, too, for lo- today is FemShep Friday, wherein all of The Internet (or, at least, those internet denizens who CARE) celebrate all the gloriousosity of the Shepard who is female. YAY!

The biggest and best thing about FemShep Friday is the newly-released Mass Effect 3 trailer that features said FemShep. If you ain't done beholden it yet, behold it now.

Oh my, YES. It is indubitably your standard pump-you-up, explosion-laden, take-no-shit, kick-all-the-asses action video game trailer...and that's what I love most about it. Okay, wait- what I love most is seeing my old squadmates kicking all of the ass beside me, as well as Jennifer Hale's totally perfect delivery of all of the take-no-shit lines. But! it's a wonderful thing that the trailer featuring the female incarnation of the Commander isn't all about being sexy and having relationships and saving the children- she's saving the world, shooting guns, dodging explosions, and being every bit as badass as BroShep. Well done, BioWare. Well done.

I don't know about you, but I have a hard time deviating from my Canon Shepard. She's a vanguard, largely paragon. Still, she won't hesitate to make a renegade choice- even the more unnecessarily heartless ones, like kicking a merc out a skyscraper window when he sasses her one too many times. She's a-romancin' Liara. She saved all of her crew.

But there are so many variations and so many options, and I want to see them all! I try to roll a new Shep, though- different attitude, different decisions, different gender- and I poop out after a while. My Shep just feels like my Shep, and Mass Effect feels like her story. Who knows, maybe when all is said and done I'll make 44730 more Shepards to see all the possibilities. I mean, what if she fell into the abyss on the Collector Base at the end of Mass Effect 2? I'd like to know how she gets out of that.

How does your Shepard get it done?

oh lawd, COME TO ME NOW

do want

2011-09-15T11:17:00.001-07:00

I'm pretty much anticipating Final Fantasy XIII-2 since...you know...YES I actually liked the first game. I'm not drooling over it since my two favorite characters from FF XIII- Fang and Lightning, duh- are ancillary this time around. I think Lightning is playable, but no one is really talking about Fang and this worries me. It WORRIES ME. Someone tell me everything will be okay!

Still, I'm going to get FF XIII-2 when it's available and when I can. I think a nice way to get it would be in bundle form with this limited Lightning-flavored PS3, don't you? Yes, I think we can all agree on that.

I don't have a PS 3, so clearly this option is in the best interests of all (me).

All my coveting has brought to mind CONSOLE WARS. Where do your loyalties lie in the console wars? Personally, I'm a free agent. Every system has its advantages and drawbacks, but dang, y'all- I just want to play games, and so I'd love to own every system.

I have a friend who was SO into Sega back in the Genesis days (and the 32X days and the Sega CD days and Saturn days and the...mmm, I don't think she had a Dreamcast) that she adopted an "us vs them" attitude with regards to Nintendo. I see it all the time on message boards and the such- Sony fanboys (and girls) bashing Xbox, vice versa, and everyone bashing Nintendo. I don't get it. I'll admit, when Xbox first came out, I rolled my eyes- but this is because I'm a Mac girl, and I was all "OH WHAT BILL GATES NOW YOU HAVE TO CONTROL GAMING TOO", which is really stupid. And you know what? A lot of games I wanted to play came out on Xbox, so when I could...I got an Xbox.

And I love my 360, no doubt. But man, I want to play Uncharted. I want to play Silent Hill: Shattered Memories with a motion controller. This means yes, I want a PS3 and a Wii. I want to play PC games, so yes, I even want a PC that can handle them. I follow the games! I'm not going to deny myself great gaming experiences because of some ridiculous loyalty to Microsoft or Nintendo or whatever. Everyone's pretty!

SHOCKtober comes to the Sandwich

2011-09-07T12:24:00.000-07:00

Someone asked recently if I planned any SHOCKtober festivities here at Jill Sandwich. After all- over at Final Girl, the year revolves around SHOCKtober! I've celebrated in different ways over the years, from reviewing movies to some more interactive things, where folks send in their choices and votes for this and that and then I tally the numbers and we all hold hands and gaze lovingly at the big list we've compiled together. It's fun stuff, so why not do it all video game style? YEAH, WHY NOT.

So: in honor of the best month of all (October), let's do this. Send me a list of your ten favorite horror-based video games. Not what you somewhat-objectively consider the "best". Not necessarily the "best" the industry has to offer, but your favorites. Maybe you love, say the Texas Chain Saw Massacre game for the Atari 2600. Then list it! And how could you not love it? It features a pixelated wheelchair undoubtedly belonging to that total jerk Franklin.

Okay! Are you psyched? Stoked? Pumped? All of the above? Then send me an email with SHOCKTOBER in the subject line and your 10 favorite games in the email body. You don't have to explain your choices, unless you want to. Send that awesome email to me at stacieponder AT gmail DOT COM by Sunday, September 18. Then all throughout ~~October~~ SHOCKtober I'll reveal the results in a way that is sure to be scintillating. I can't wait! CAN'T WAIT I SAY.

Here's a big post I did on horror video games. I dunno. Maybe it'll trip your memory, if it needs trippin'. YEAH VIDEO GAMES!

Portal: No Escape (no GlaDOS)

2011-08-24T12:14:00.000-07:00

You guys watched the Portal fan film No Escape, right? It's pretty damn great.

Wow. I mean, what if Portal had combat like that? I know there are turrets, but what about people? People chasing you and shooting at you? That would be...interesting. I would likely be terrible at it. I get panicky in those situations and I'd portal right into some lava or whatever.

FYI

2011-08-22T12:32:00.001-07:00

Here is Roland Jenseric's shopping list:

apples
onions
lard
cheese
milk

And here is Roland Jenseric:

2011-08-08T12:48:00.000-07:00

I'm replaying Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion a little bit at a time because...umm...it's research for my webcomic RPG. Yes, that's it! Research! But also, I'm replaying it because why not? It's a pretty astonishing game in terms of scope; it's possible to clock countless hours simply exploring the world, finding towns and picking herbs or whatever. The game can truly be whatever you want it to be, and the main plot is almost an afterthought.

Story in Oblivion takes a backseat to the player simply existing- which was a hard concept to grasp the first time I played it. The end of the tutorial stage finds your character emerging from a sewer into bright sunshine, at which point the game basically says "take the next step in the plot, or don't- whatevs. We don't care!" and there you are, standing in the middle of a vast land with nothing and everything to do. It's rather jarring when you're accustomed to more linear games, be they RPGs or not.

Ultimately, it's that endless exploration that makes Oblivion so great. I tend to spend my time wandering the countryside searching for caves and ruins to explore. I clean out the monsters, discover whatever secrets the place may hold, and go sell the spoils for big bucks. The whole "save the world" idea in the main storyline? Yeah, I'll get to that later. Right now I've got chests full of gold to unlock!

"Welcome to my home."

I've approached one thing very differently in this playthrough than I did in my last: books. There are hundreds of books scattered around the country, available for reading (or stealing) in homes, available for purchase (or stealing) in shops, and just plain lying around waiting to be found. Some of them provide a skill boost when opened, while others are simply...books. History, instruction, fiction, poetry, you name it- there are literally thousands of pages to be read. The first time I played, I opened every book I found in the hope of getting that stat boost. This time, however, I'm reading the majority of them (sorry, some instruction manuals are just dry) and it's astonishing how much time and effort has been put in by the developers on what can obviously be completely ignored. Again, that's Oblivion. It's your world to make.

(By the way, right now I'm really into The Mystery of Talara, but I can't find volumes 3 & 4. If anyone knows, please help a nerd out.)

fuck yeah, gonna pick some herbs

Even the leveling system is strange in Oblivion. I'm used to the standard XP method, wherein you need a certain amount of experience points in order to gain a level. XP is acquired by completing tasks, punching people in the face, etc etc. Not so in the land of the Elder Scrolls! The game employs a sort of "practice makes perfect" approach, wherein you aptitude in skills grows as you use those skills- then when you've advanced all of your major skills enough, you gain a level. It's a more realistic approach, I guess. If you keep blocking with a shield, you'll...you know, get better at blocking. Still, it's a vague system and when you're a number-crunching RPGer, it's a scary new world. Change is frightening!

What's strange, though, is that no matter how much time I spend wandering the landscape and talking to people, I never get much of a grip on who my character is. Sure, it's "role-playing", I suppose, but my personality never shines through and whatever background she may have is completely in my head. The player character has no speaking voice- not that it matters, really; BioWare and Valve have proven that mute characters can still be fleshed out- and there are very few instances where I get to choose from multiple dialogue responses. Sure, I can be good or evil, a thief or a do-gooder, a vampire or a...not vampire, but in the end, I'm just a pair of hands wielding a sword and shield. It's weird to spend those countless hours in someone's skin- scaly skin for me this go-round, as I'm playing an Argonian lizard lady- and com out with no sense of who he or she is.

Maybe it doesn't matter.

If there's one area I hope to see improved for the forthcoming Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, it's characterization. Not only in the player character, obviously, but also in the NPCs. Oblivion is greatly hurt by the fact that though there are hundreds of minor characters, there are only a handful of voice actors and but a few more facial models. The result is that no one stands out- everyone blends in and names don't matter. No one is memorable, and conversation with everyone is a bit of a drag.

And they're all so ugly! Good lord, Cyrodiil is home to some truly, truly ugly people. I mentioned that this time I'm playing as a lizard- really, I chose that race because I didn't want my character to be hideous. Not only are the NPCs are heinous, it's also nigh impossible to create a character who isn't equally gross. Yes, in Oblivion, a walking lizard woman is more attractive than a human. (I know there are mods for the PC version that make folks easier to stomach visually, but I'm rocking a 360.)

the best picture I found

And goodness, they're a needy people!

"Oh, you tracked down my long-lost twin brother and reunited us, thank you! Umm, now we want to reclaim our long-lost childhood home, but we're not sure where it is. Could you go find it for us? Thank you."

"Oh, you're back, and you've found our home! Thank you. It's overrun with ogres, you say? Hmm. Could you go kill them and then come back here? Thank you."

"Oh, you've killed all the ogres? Thank you. Can you now please escort us to our home? And protect us! Despite this large warhammer on my back, I'm afraid I cannot defend myself. Thank you."

And so on.

spriggins creep me the hell out

In related news, there's really little I hate MORE in videogames than escort missions. I really, really hate them. Really. There's nothing worse than having to protect some jerk who can't defend themselves, who can't run, and who dies after, like, one hit. I hate escort missions. Hate. HATE. HAAAAAATE. I hate them.

Ahem. Anyway, yeah, Oblivion is cool. I think I'll become a vampire lizard. And I'll steal horses. And let the people I escort get eaten by bears or something. That'll show 'em!

Back to the Free Marches

2011-08-05T16:18:00.001-07:00

Hey Dragon Age II fans, there is more Dragon Age II out there for you to make out with! That's right, the game's latest DLC, "Legacy", is here. What's it all about? What do I get out of it? Is it worth the hefty 800 point pricetag? Are these jeans "cool", as the kids say? I'm sure all of these questions and more are burning up your brain, so let me give you some answers. I'm even going to save the spoilers for the comments section!

First, let's get this answer out of the way: no, your jeans are not cool. Only Bugle Boy jeans are cool. Now...on to "Legacy"!

It doesn't matter where in the campaign your character is situated in order to trigger the content- Hawke can be scrambling for coin in Act I or standing listlessly in his/her estate after the game's end. Conveniently, "Legacy" begins when you interact with a statue that appears in Hawke's current home- it leads to a cutscene between Varric and Cassandra Pentaghast, wherein she inquires about an adventure he's neglected to mention...and so the adventure begins.

I will say this: while you are able to play "Legacy" at any point, after one playthrough you'll see that certain minor occurrences in the DLC are effected by Hawke's...err, family situation. Meaning, if you play with a post-campaign character, it will be evident that there will be certain benefits to playing again with a Hawke mired in Act I or early Act II. Likewise, there will be little bonuses to bringing along certain party members- story bonuses, really, if you care about that sort of thing. Which...why wouldn't you? I mean, what kind of person are you?

The gist is this: the Carta, that wacky gang of dwarven criminals, has been attacking your home and family. Varric traces them to a camp in the Vimmark Mountains, and this is where the action begins. As Hawke tries to discover the motive behind the attack, she's drawn into her family history, Grey Warden history, darkspawn history...hell, even the history of Thedas, the Chantry, and beyond. Much of the story concerns Malcolm, Hawke's father, and I loved the fleshing out of the family. I like my Hawke a lot, and I'd like to see her story continue; whether it will in Dragon Age III is a bit impossible to predict, but at least BioWare seems intent on providing some damn beefy DLC to satisfy.

And pretty beefy "Legacy" is- it's a few hours' worth of content, no doubt. Why, I even heard tale of one player who took 8 hours to complete it on the HARD setting (by "heard tale", I mean "read online"). There are bosses to battle, sidequests to complete, decisions to make (speculation in the comments!), puzzles to solve, and lots of loot to grab. Many of the gameplay gripes folks had after playing DA II have been resolved here: repeating dungeons? None to be found. All of the areas are brand-spanking new- from the desolate surface in the mountains to the murky, partially-submerged Deep Roads, none of this has been seen before, and none of it repeats.

Enemies are much tougher here than in the game proper, and the predictable "wave" attacks have been abolished. Combat requires more strategy, and I definitely got my ass kicked plenty. Genlocks (both regular and alpha) finally make an appearance, as do alpha hurlocks- both have been redesigned to fit the DA II aesthetic, and both bring the pain. Having a healer in your party is absolutely essential, and while you do pick up some potions along the way, it's a good idea to stock up on whatever you need before beginning "Legacy" as there are no shops throughout and you only get one chance to return to Kirkwall during the quest.

One of the best things about "Legacy" is also one of the smallest: that it's fully-voiced, every character. It's kind of a drag to play DLC and in the cutscenes, party members simply stare blankly because no new dialogue has been recorded. In "Legacy", however, there's all-new dialogue and party banter. New party banter! It's a highlight of the Dragon Age series, and "Legacy" doesn't disappoint at all.

In fact, overall it doesn't disappoint at all. While it's not essential content for a Dragon Age II experience, fans will certainly find plenty to love in both story and gameplay...and I can't help but think that the stage is being subtly set for Dragon Age III. Or maybe I should just say that they've got me speculating about it. I should also say that I'm pretty bad at speculating, so maybe none of this will have to do with Dragon Age III. I should also say that I unapologetically love Dragon Age, but then you probably already knew that.

disingenuous assertions

2011-07-18T19:11:00.000-07:00

In Mass Effect, my canon Shepard is a Paragon- you know, the hero who saves the day. Sure, along the way she gets drunk frequently and won't hesitate to punch out a reporter or two, but generally she's a good guy (or girl, whatever).

Once in a while I do a Renegade run with a male Shepard, and I'm always shocked at what an asshole Shep can be when you choose...well, the asshole replies. Though I vastly prefer the game's female-flavored voice acting to the male, I've never done a Renegade female Shepard. After watching this hilarious video, though, I think it might be time to do it.

aw man

2011-06-29T13:34:00.001-07:00

If only I'd seen this ad when I was a kid...I coulda grown up and turned into Gamestop!

Entered into evidence

2011-06-22T11:30:00.000-07:00

I've always thought that I'd make a great detective. After playing L.A. Noire, however I realize that I came to that conclusion not because I have some natural affinity or particular aptitude that would make me great for the job. Rather, I think I'd be a great detective because I love watching Columbo and Murder She Wrote and I've seen a crapload of episodes of each. Look, I never said I had any common sense, did I? And now that I think about it, that lack of common sense is yet another mark against me becoming Columbo: The Girl Version Who Is Not Mrs. Columbo or Murder She Wrote: The Young Version anytime soon. But! With L.A. Noire, I can totally live the dream through video games, just as playing Tomb Raider allowed me to finally fulfill my dream of having a long, braided ponytail.

It's 1947 in Los Angeles and you're Cole Phelps, a decorated war hero who continues the fight at home by joining the police force. After displaying some initiative as a beat cop, Phelps is fast-tracked and becomes a detective in the traffic division. As he solves cases, Phelps earns promotions and a place in different squads, such as homicide and vice. 1940s L.A. wasn't the picture of purity even on the good guys' side, however, and Phelps quickly learns that corruption runs both deep and high.

As Phelps, you work a variety of cases- more than 20 of 'em- that will have you chasing suspects on foot and behind the wheel, engaging in shootouts, and, most importantly, investigating crime scenes, interviewing witnesses, and interrogating suspects. It's in the question-and-answer phases that L.A. Noire displays its "revolutionary new facial animation technology" that allows for characters to furrow, smile, swallow, and blink their way to the list of cleared individuals or, in some cases, to the gas chamber. It's up to you to decide who's lying, who's telling the truth, and who's falling somewhere in between. Some tells are easy to detect: a calm facade can give way to shiftiness and zero eye contact if you ask the right question. People who believe their own lies can be as calm as those telling the truth, though, and as you might expect, things get more difficult as the game advances. Throughout, you can use "intuition points" to assist in finding clues or questioning subjects.

I fumbled my way through many an interview, not following leads properly or choosing the wrong piece of evidence to back up my accusations when I called someone a liar. Sometimes, truth be told, this wasn't my fault: at times, questions and replies just don't match up, and sometimes "evidence" isn't evidence at all. There were crime-related locations I never visited, and clues I never found. No matter how diligent you are, though, every case comes to an end. On more than one occasion I sent the wrong person to jail; through a conceit I found alternately clever and infuriating, there are several instances where the player knows more than Cole does, but still the detective soldiers on. You know you're pursuing the wrong leads and looking at the wrong suspects; if Phelps and his partner could make the same connections you do, lots of time and pain could be saved. There are confines and limits to the game, however, and Phelps does what he wants in several instances whether you like it or not.

L.A. Noire certainly follows many of the Rockstar Games tropes. In addition to the main case files and storyline, there's lots to do in Los Angeles, from finding every make of car to answering calls for assistance during the numerous street crimes happening throughout the city. As is always the case with a Rockstar game, it's highly unlikely you'll nail a 100% completion on one playthrough. Sure, most of it is treasure hunting for achievement nuts, so bear that in mind.

As expected, the graphics are top notch. The facial animations are remarkable, and you're sure to recognize several of the actors whose likenesses and voices have been utilized. It's a strange trip through uncanny valley in L.A. Noire: while much of the minutiae of human emotion has been captured, there's no escape from the soullessness behind the eyes. It's disconcerting. Intriguing, but disconcerting. The environments are fantastic- 1947 Los Angeles has been meticulously recreated from the "Hollywoodland" sign on down to every street corner. As an L.A. resident, I got my nerd on over plenty of landmarks and locations I visit frequently, and I even managed to find the corner where I live.

Combat controls and gameplay, often a weak point in Rockstar titles (I'm looking at you, Grand Theft Auto), were actually a dream. Rather than shooting wildly into the air and getting perforated to death during shootouts, I found the duck & cover system easy to manage and aiming was a snap. Driving was even better, very intuitive and responsive.

If I had one complaint about L.A. Noire- and I do have one, here goes- it would be that Cole Phelps makes for an incredibly bland leading man. Flashbacks to his stint in the marines during WWII show that his golden boy / war hero persona may be hiding something darker, and while I've no problem with a hero, an antihero, or simply a conflicted man, in the end Phelps is...well, boring. I just didn't like him. It's not simply that he did unlikable things, it's more that he was totally Dullsville. After the stellar development and writing behind John Marston, reluctant hero of Rockstar's amazing Red Dead Redemption, I was hoping for a bit more from their next star. By the time all the events of the game came to a head, I didn't care because I didn't care about him at all. He was far from being the most interesting person in the game. In fact, he was one of the least interesting people in the game, despite his dark past. I just hate feeling that way about a character whose shoes I'm supposed to fill for hours and hours.

I suppose that the gameplay is really the thing in L.A. Noire. It's fun to work the cases, despite the fact that none of it is "fun", you know what I mean? It's all rather grim, and even much of the trademark Rockstar gallows humor is unfortunately M.I.A. throughout. The overall picture never quite gels as dramatically as you'd hope, and the whole thing wraps up with more of a whimper than a bang, although maybe that's the point. The wheels of progress grind onward, life goes on and the such. In the end we all play our parts for good or ill or somewhere in the grey and that's that. All I know for sure is that I am destined only to be a FAKE detective. Believe me, I'm as shocked as you are- especially considering some of the TV shows waiting for me in my Netflix queue.

what a shock, more art

2011-06-13T19:04:00.000-07:00

All the E3 talk about Mass Effect 3 got me playing Mass Effect 2. All the playing of Mass Effect 2 got me drawing some character cards. SURPRISE.

Okay, so I'm only just now getting the appeal of Thane. In other news, Aria T'Loak is rad and should totally be a squadmate in ME3. Also, go for the optics, Chiktikka.

I also made this comic because...well, I love how Shepard does nothing but loot dead bodies and steal from people who are, like, standing there watching, but then on Omega she gets all uppity and all "EFF YOU, LOOTERS". That Shepard, such a charming hypocrite!

Click to embiggen.

Oh, and then all this Mass Effect art got me wanting to do some Dragon Age art, so, you know. Flemeth. Leliana...err, Sister Nightingale, kicking ass for the Maker!

Merrill's Dream

2011-05-23T14:49:00.000-07:00

Did this quick Dragon Age 2 pencil sketch this morning, based on one of the dialogue choices you can make during the end-game conversation with Merrill.

(click to embiggen)

Someday I'll stop making Dragon Age and Mass Effect fan art. On the other hand, I doubt that very much!

KotOR!

2011-05-19T14:20:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah, Bastila and Mission gettin' shit done on Manaan! You guys, I love Knights of the Old Republic. Yeah, after playing it so many times, some of it is a pain (oh, Taris, I love seeing you get obliterated) but still, it's just the best. My favorite Star Wars game and one of my favorite game games!

Mordin!

2011-05-18T20:02:00.000-07:00

I wasn't expecting to love Mordin Solus from Mass Effect 2, but then all of a sudden I did. I guess it shouldn't have been a surprise...after all, he is the very model of a scientist salarian.

(Also, we get to visit the salarian homeworld in ME3. How rad is that?)

(Also also, more of my sketch cards- vidyagame and otherwise- can be seen here)

Wiiiiitch!

2011-05-17T13:05:00.000-07:00

A small, okay part of a big, not-okay piece that didn't work out the way I wanted it to...to which I say, I shall try again.

I like Left 4 Dead 2, but I loooove Left 4 Dead. Why do I like the first game so much more? Probably because of the characters, from the infected to the protagonists. Somehow Zoey, Louis, Francis, and Bill of L4D are a bunch of charmers; we know next to nothing about them, yet they've got distinct personalities. Their L4D2 counterparts simply aren't the same. Dunno.

But the Witch! The Witch is just so damn cool.

Oh, Merrill.

2011-05-11T17:12:00.000-07:00

It's a testament to the writing behind Merrill of Dragon Age 2 that I can really disapprove (and even hate) some (most) of the things she does, yet I never dislike her. I will say, though, that on one playthrough I denied her the super special elf knife and man did she get vicious!

Also, I love Dragon Age. (That's for anyone visiting here for the first time.)

Dear Final Fantasy XIII,

2011-05-10T14:55:00.000-07:00

You and I, we've been through a lot together over these last few weeks, so I thought it was high time I sat down to tell you how I'm feeling about you. I know, you've been listening to what people have to say about you for a couple of years now and you're probably tired of it, but hey. I'm woefully behind the curve, and I've got the Crystal Pepsi t-shirt to prove it!

Let me say this up front: part of the reason why I'm only just getting around to you now is because of...well, because of all those things people said about you. You were all over The Internet for a while there and I couldn't avoid you. I read the reviews and the comments, and the news was...not good. "It's too linear!" they cried. "It's too easy, too dumbed-down!" Perhaps the one that cut the deepest was THIS IS NOT MY FINAL FANTASY.

It's like no one knew who you were anymore- at least, that's what they said. They said you had no towns. No towns! An RPG with no towns in which to talk with NPCs and to shop! They said you didn't allow for much exploration, that you guided players from A to B to C by the hand, taking any guesswork out of the equation...taking any freedom out of the equation. Honestly- now, this is going to hurt, Final Fantasy XIII- I don't think there are too many people out there who actually like you. Perhaps you'd be a fine game if you were called, oh I don't know, Crystal People in the Electric Hallways of Doom or something. But as a part of the venerable Final Fantasy family, word on the street is that you're a big ol' disappointment.

I listened to all of that and like I said, it kept me away. I'd see you in the store or online or whatever, and I'd quickly look away to avoid eye contact. One time, though, a used copy of you almost caught me in a Gamestop. I heard a "Hey. What's up?" as I was mindlessly browsing the shelves, and I almost took you home! But I couldn't. I couldn't willingly enter into a relationship with you after all the things people said. I mean, come on. I have a rep to protect, Final Fantasy XIII! An image and a rep!

Okay, that's not true at all. But for someone with such an odor of crappy word of mouth swirling around them, you sure had a high price; thus, on the shelf you stayed despite your pleas of "But maybe you'll like me!" I can't lay down a bunch of dough on a chance like that.

But still, that's the thought that I'd had since the first disappointing review of you rolled out: maybe I'd like you. The truth is, you never left the back of my mind! There, I said it. Sometimes, late at night after my parents had gone to bed, I'd lock my door and look you up on the internet. I wouldn't tell anyone and that time my dad surprised me and came in all "WHAT ARE YOU DOING" I was all "Errrr, homework!" and turned off my monitor so fast, hoping he hadn't caught a glance at your Amazon.com page on my screen.

No one should be shocked, then, that when I saw you recently at Target, all brand-new and beyond reasonably priced, I finally took you home.

Right away, I could see what people had been getting at. There's no way to say this more politely, Final Fantasy XIII, so here goes: you're really effing weird. From your run down this corridor- fight! Run further down the corridor- fight! patterns to your auto-battle system that won't allow me to control the actions of my party members to your where are the towns?-ness to your horrendous leveling up system in the Crystalnasium or whatever it's called, you're a very, very weird game. Are you some new breed of action-RPG-movie? I don't know. It took me a good long while to get used to you, however.

And then I did. I got used to your quirks, and dammit, I actually came to appreciate most of them. By the time you relaxed most of your restrictions and let me, say, choose my own goldurn party of players, I was really digging you. To be honest, I think that auto-battle is pretty good for someone like me, as I'm not a micro-manager. If I can trust my healer to do healy things all on his or her own, then I'm good, you know? I'll never ever like your weapon upgrading system and the Crystalnasium was ridiculous to the end, but most everything else I, I forgave. Exploring towns and meeting NPCs didn't jibe with your storyline and I get that, but still. Those things were missed.

Pretty soon, I realized that I was drawing sketch cards of your characters when we were apart, FFXIII (can I call you FFXIII now?), and it was then that I realized that yes, I was really really digging you.

YOU'RE SO PRETTY. You flat-out dazzled me with your beautyosity. See, I only recently upgraded to a 21st-century TV (again, umm, behind the curve) and anyway, I'm not a graphics hound when it comes to games or movies. I read complaints about certain titles and I think "Durr, it looked fine to me..."; I'm not sure if it's the crappy TV I had or the fact that I still very clearly remember that games used to consist of a bunch of moving squares, but my standards are pretty low in that regard. But oh, oh oh oh, you opened my eyes! Character hair moved around! I couldn't tell the cut scenes from the gameplay! I will admit, I'd probably like you no matter what simply because YOU'RE SO PRETTY. I'm shallow, I guess, after all.

Your plot and storylines are convoluted. There's no getting around that, and I was awfully glad that your datalog spelled it all out for me. Convoluted, but oddly engaging.

Your characters...hmm. Some of them are so irritating, there was never a moment I wanted them NOT to die. (SNOW. I hate him with the hateful hate of a thousand...umm, haters.) Some of them I loved right away (Lightning, and FANG. Why did they wait so long to introduce Fang? She now rules my world!), and some of them actually grew on me (Vanille was, surprisingly, perhaps the most well-rounded character in the game). I found myself pretty invested in them and those convoluted storylines of theirs. And please, FFXIII, don't even try to deny the it's so barely subtext that if there were really any sexuality at all in Final Fantasy games it would totally be text between Fang and Vanille. Come on, we all know what's up, and it's cool.

Again, now that you're all said and done, I just wanted to tell you how I feel. Look, you were right: I like you, okay? I think the stuff that people said about you was all rather true, but then I rather don't care. I like you for what you are, rather than hate you for what you're not- a simple enough concept that I struggle with often. What you are is pretty fun and pretty pretty. You were right, and I'm glad I finally took a chance on you. I won't wait so long on Final Fantasy XIII-2, I promise. In fact, I kind of can't wait for it. To hell with my rep and yours- let's hold hands!

Love (that's right, I said it),
Stacie

PS- I don't actually live with my parents still, but then you know that because you live with me.

Wheeeeee

2011-05-07T18:41:00.001-07:00

I wish there were more of those holy crap, I'm really flying through the air moments in Portal 2. That's not even a complaint, really. I love Portal.

a drawing fool

2011-05-06T21:51:00.000-07:00

Dudes, dudettes, and "prefer not to answer"s, I have been a drawing fool lately, cranking out all manner of stick figure cards of characters from Mass Effect, Dragon Age, and Final Fantasy XIII. I've been posting them here and at my deviantART page (which I totally resurrected from the dead, just like Jason in Friday the 13th Part VI), so click if you want to, like, see them and whatever. Here's the latest, a trio of cards of the women from FFXIII. Right on!

what is this i can't even

2011-05-06T09:59:00.000-07:00

Seriously, I can't even comprehend the awesomeness of this Portal 2 poster by Tristan Reidford. Therefore, I won't even try to comprehend the awesomeness of this Portal 2 poster by Tristan Reidford. I will simply sit here and enjoy the crap out of it. Click to embiggen, seriously, you'll want to.

seriously

2011-05-05T20:28:00.000-07:00

I can't get enough of these ugly Shepards! I love people.

Ugly Shepards Part One is here!

I am just saying

2011-05-05T10:35:00.000-07:00

Googling "ugly Shepard" yields some truly delightful results.

Ugly Shepards Part Two is here!

2011-05-04T17:39:00.000-07:00

BioWare announced today that Mass Effect 3 has been pushed to Q1 2012, to which I say: fine. I will wait. I don't want to wait, but I will since it's a quality thing, you know? Let's face it: Mass Effect 3 is going to be the greatest game in the history of ever and it's going to make my head explode with awesomeness. Until that day comes, I will continue to use my head. I have stuff to do anyway, so waiting a couple of more months isn't going to kill me (mostly).

Still, I don't know who that dude in the middle is, and why they keep putting his picture everywhere! Everybody knows that Shepard is a woman- a world-weary-but-noble drunk of a woman. Duh! And the dude on the left should be a woman named Ashley Williams. Doubleplusduh.

Lightning

2011-05-03T12:56:00.001-07:00

Y'all, I've been dabbling in Final Fantasy XIII whilst taking meal breaks and while I see where traditional JRPG or Final Fantasy fans may not like it, I'm digging it so far...even if it's mostly running down hallways or hallways that aren't hallways and some characters are really annoying.

The point is, though, that Lightning is so cool. So cool she's got me thinking about making one of those lame FEMALE VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS WHO ARE SO COOL lists.

Also Fang would be on the list, but I haven't drawn her yet.

I like big boats, I cannot lie.

2011-04-28T09:12:00.000-07:00

Couldn't resist doing an Isabela (Dragon Age II) sketch card. She's such a party staple for me that I don't even bother playing duel-wielding rogue myself, though that's usually my class of choice. By the end of the game Isabela is flitting around the field from enemy to enemy, dealing out 100% (or more) critical damage and one-shot killing almost everybody. She kicks all of the ass! Sure, she's a thieving liar- umm, she's a pirate- but she's got a heart of gold lurking in there and she redeems herself nicely. Err, that depends on how you play, I suppose...but no matter what, she's sweet to Merrill and Bethany and she never fails to make me laugh.

Basically, my friends, if you don't think Isabela is as super awesome as I do, then I don't know what we have left to say to each other.

For more of my sketch cards, make with the click-click!

It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.

2011-04-24T11:12:00.001-07:00

If you're already savvy with the world of Portal, what can I say about Portal 2 besides "Yes. Go get it now, because it's effing awesome."?

If you're not savvy with the world of Portal, what can I say besides "Go get Portal now, and then get Portal 2 later, because you are really missing out on some of the best gaming available."?

See, I don't want to spoil anything about either game because both are best experienced as purely as possible- the less you know, the more there is to discover. It's best to let Portal unfold before you and constantly surprise you with its humor and incredible cleverosity, which is totally a real word, I swear.

Valve takes everything you love about Portal and makes it...more. Picking up essentially where the first game left off, silent protagonist Chell, after years in stasis, wakes up in the Aperture Science Enrichment Center and it's all but completely destroyed. Panels are broken, systems malfunction, weeds have grown up all around, and gaping holes in the walls and floors give you a view down into what seems to be a bottomless void...and the testing begins again.

From there, well...I don't want to say. Every time you think you might be approaching the end of the game, it turns out that you're not. There are times when Portal 2 feels almost like a first-person shootingless shooter than a clever puzzle game: there's a narrative that plays out, and just about every question you had will be answered.

The quality of the puzzles has been improved by the addition of several new features: lasers you can guide with reflective cubes, repulsion gels, propulsion gels, light bridges, and more. Chell will walk into a massive chamber with blobs falling everywhere and fifteen turrets aiming at her, and no seeming way out. Of course there's (almost) always a way out, and when you've finally mastered it and you head for the next testing chamber, you can't help but give yourself a high-five for figuring it out. Can't lie, I feel great and oh-so-smart when I try something ludicrous- you know, like bouncing off of a wall into a portal and grabbing a cube in mid-air only to drop it into another portal as I bounce across a chasm or something- and it actually works and the exit door opens. Portal 2 is quite rewarding that way.

So, if you know Portal, then its successor will be everything you want and expect and more. It's as laugh-out-loud funny as the first, if not more so. It's as challenging, if not more so. There's even a co-op mode this time, but I've yet to give it a go. Basically, Portal 2 is everything you could want as a sequel to a game that really didn't need a sequel. If I could hug video games, I'd hug the Portals.

What are you waiting for? It's either more of what you dug the first time, or it's something you really need to try. Either way, you should play it...for science.

You love it, big girl.

2011-04-22T11:15:00.001-07:00

Did a quick Aveline (Dragon Age II) sketch card to warm up today. She's one of my favorite characters in a game full of new favorite characters- a friend and protector to my Hawke, a major force on the battlefield, and man, her Act II personal quest is rad (extra rad if you've got Isabela in your party). We need more video game ladies like Aveline. She's a woman-shaped battering ram!

For more of my sketch cards- video game and otherwise- click here!

get here already!

2011-04-18T11:16:00.000-07:00

I'm already excited about Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. The folks at Rock, Paper, Shotgun have played through an hour of the forthcoming game and have listed 20 reasons to be excited about it, so now I'm even excitedier. I mean...

7. The world is so much more alive. You’ll see packs of wolves hunting mammoths, you’ll see fearsome beasts such as giants wander by without bothering you because they’re off on other business rather than being mindless killers, you’ll see friendly passers-by running up to you with a sword you dropped earlier and offering to return it – or taking a pop at you with it if they have some reason to despise you.
8. Conversations with NPCs no longer involves an awkward zoom-in to their strange faces, a fixed perspective and an ugly text box. Now, it’s clean, sharp text floating directly onto the screen, and you’re free to look around as you please. Much of the incidental conversation, such as back stories, can be had while going for a stroll with a character as they chat away ambiently, rather than standing there clicking through text from a static position because you’re worried about missing something.

Oh November, why must you be so far away? There's no way Skyrim is going to be anything less than epic. I know that word is overplayed, but if there's ever a time it's appropriate, it's...well, when talking about Skyrim.

"He doesn't like you...I don't like you, either."

collect your heart!

2011-04-18T10:43:00.000-07:00

click to embiggen! (via)

BARGAIN.

2011-04-12T11:30:00.000-07:00

Umm, Amazon sells a download code for Alan Wake- the full game!- for...wait for it...$4.49.

FOUR FORTY NINE.

Admittedly, the gameplay gets a wee repetitive, but the story, the atmosphere, and the visuals were great enough to net Alan Wake a spot in my HIGHLY PRESTIGIOUS Top 10 of 2010 list. It's definitely worth four friggin forty nine. If you've got an Xbox 360 and $4.49, you should jump on this shit.

Here's the only dude with prices that are more insane than that:

Read with Portals

2011-04-12T10:47:00.000-07:00

In anticipation of next Tuesday's release of Portal 2 (PORTAL 2 ON TUESDAY PORTAL 2 ON TUESDAY!), developer Valve has produced Lab Rat, a 2-part comic that tells the story of that dude who scribbled messages all over the walls. If you played Portal, you know who and what I'm talking about. If you haven't played Portal, then you won't care. Also, if you haven't played Portal, why haven't you played Portal?

At any rate, here are some links that are 100% clickable:

Lab Rat part one
Lab Rat part two

PORTAL 2 ON TUESDAY!!

BioWare, JUST TAKE ALL OF MY MONEY. It's yours.

2011-04-08T16:04:00.001-07:00

So, I've yet to read the Mass Effect 3 cover story in Game Informer, but excerpts have been helpfully posted on The Internet. I'm trying to avert my eyes because I really don't want to be spoiled, but I couldn't help myself. I must say, the info has (not surprisingly) given me every boner in the world, and I'm not sure how I can wait, like, six friggin' months for this game. ME3 and ME2 spoilers after the photo!

Got my new Game Informer, read the ME3 article. Game starts with Shepard on Earth, effectively on trial in regard to the events of Arrival, and in the middle of the trial, the Reapers invade. Prologue involves Shepard's escape to the Normandy, and off to start finding those allies, fighting Reaper troops (husks of all the different species) the whole way.

Confirmed squadmates: Liara, Ashley/Kaiden, Garrus (if he's alive) and... James Sanders... That must be the guy from the trailer, I don't remember.

Speaking of which, there's a screenshot of Ashley with her hair down, and she actually looks hot. Don't have a scanner, so wait till someone with one turns up.

Confirmed to appear, but not guaranteed as squaddies: Wrex, Mordin, Legion, and Anderson. Obviously, if they live.

The game will by default feature a "previously on Mass Effect" comic to make decisions with if starting from scratch.

The Illusive Man also plays a prominent role, and Cerberus is out to kill Shepard. Reason why is unknown at this point.

The RPG elements are being beefed up, not going back to ME1, but giving more freedom with the character skills. Skill trees will be larger, and powers will evolve several times instead of just once, offering even more freedom. Weapons are ME2 style, with a set list, but mods make a return, not in the ME1 style, but allowing you to swap out different parts such as barrels, scopes, and so on, which effect both the weapon's combat performance and its appearance.

All classes can wield all weapons unhindered now, but will have limited slots to carry them. Only the Soldier can carry all weapons at once. Probably means Adept, Engineer, and Sentinal will be limited to two, and Vanguard and Infiltrator will have three.

Also mentioned: The game will have numerous endings, some good, some bad, and who you have in your squad and which allies you recruit can have a drastic effect on which are available.

That's basically the gist of it, except for the sidebars filled with stuff everyone already knows.

Oh yeah, forgot to mention one thing: Confirmed NO MULTIPLAYER. They're talking about future games and/or spinoffs having it, but not this time.

What's weird to me is that guy on the GI cover. That can't be Shepard, because, I mean, he looks nothing like the lady I played through Mass Effect 1 & 2...

Also, James Sanders is likely the dude in the teaser trailer, and I'd assume he's related somehow to Kahlee Sanders, a major player in the Mass Effect novels. Not...umm...that I read them. That would be weird.

Ahem.

Hey look, that teaser trailer I was talking about!

Have Dragon Age II? Get Mass Effect 2 for PC for FA-REE

2011-04-05T10:15:00.000-07:00

What a righteous deal for people who own Dragon Age II: a free download of Mass Effect 2 for PC. Head here to read all of the many details! OUTER SPACE.

I can't wait for Mass Effect 3.

2011-04-04T11:48:00.001-07:00

(via)

my yoot

2011-04-02T10:51:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, this was my favorite game:

Night Driver! I'm still amazed at how far video games have come in such a short amount of time.

And that is my profound thought for the day.

confession!

2011-04-01T12:00:00.000-07:00

I have never played Final Fantasy VII. I KNOW. I hope you don't think any less of me.

Fear the Reapers

2011-03-30T09:02:00.000-07:00

You know, Destructoid's review of Arrival, the last bit of Mass Effect 2 DLC, is so on the nose with how I felt about it that I'm taking the lazy way out and simply saying: read what they done wrote.

In short: play it post-game, if possible. It lacks the emotional punch it could have had, but it's still a nice universe-expanding set of events, and it's got me all jazzed for Mass Effect 3 (like i wasn't already). It's nowhere near as good as Lair of the Shadow Broker, but then, what is? LotSB is pretty much the best piece of DLC ever. Unless you count Red Dead Redemption's Undead Nightmare, but whether you count that or not is your beeswax.

Anyway: worth the 560 MS points? I think so, but then you know how I roll with Mass Effect: I roll NERD.

I don't really know what that means, sorry.

Arrival arrives tomorrow

2011-03-28T14:33:00.000-07:00

Via IGN- check out the launch trailer for Arrival, the last chunk of Mass Effect 2 DLC. It hits tomorrow! THE REAPERS ARE COMING! Oh no.

A teaser is just a tease...

2011-03-24T13:38:00.000-07:00

...but damn if this trailer for a Dragon Age fan film doesn't look as good (maybe...umm...better, even) as the one for the officially sanctioned Felicia Day-flavored mini-series. Writing aside, mind you, as who knows what either will bring; but effects and costumes-wise...(Darth Vader voice) most impressive.

I'm-a gonna ween!

2011-03-23T11:39:00.000-07:00

As someone who clocked in more hours with Super Mario Kart and Mario Kart 64 than was probably healthy (Toad FTW), I found this video to be what the kids call "hilarious". The sound effects killed me.

OMG Shale.

2011-03-23T09:49:00.001-07:00

I know this will appeal only to those of you who have played Dragon Age (and even then, perhaps only some of you), but I saw this in the BioWare forums (yes I visit them) (shut up) and I had to post this: a shot of Shale, in Cassandra's book at the end of DAII.

Ahhh, the chicken. I hadn't spotted this in my playthrough. SO GOOD!

Is it just me?

2011-03-18T11:28:00.000-07:00

I was reading an article about a man arrested for punching another man and when I noticed the attendant mugshot of said puncher...

...I immediately thought, "So that's pretty much what my Fallout 3 character would look like in real life."

I thought that because this was the hairstyle I chose for said Fallout 3 character, albeit mine was blue:

Anyway.

once more unto the breach

2011-03-18T10:20:00.000-07:00

One last chunk of Mass Effect 2 DLC hits PS3, Xbox 360, and PC on March 29. Called Arrival, it'll charge Commander Shepard with saving an informant who has information about the impending Reaper invasion. Save this person, and then the next time the Turian councilor is all...

...you can be, like, "SEE?"

Anyway, this sets the stage for Mass Effect 3 later this year, and it's a good excuse to haul out ol' FemShep one more time before then. Oh, and for those who played through Mass Effect, Arrival will also give us a chance to finally meet Admiral Hackett- voiced by Lance Henriksen!- face to face.

Man, over a year since ME2 was released and they're still putting out new content. I got nothing except THAT IS SO AWESOME to say to that.

This was a triumph.

2011-03-17T17:02:00.000-07:00

It's only a wee TV spot for Portal 2, but once GLaDOS chimes in, it just drives home the point: I CAN'T WAIT. April 19!

oooOOOOooooo

2011-03-17T10:55:00.000-07:00

Pixelogic has a big, chunky interview with some of the art team behind Dragon Age II and if you care about that sort of thing, it's a rather interesting peek at not only what goes into the art of video games, but also the changes made between Origins and DA2. Beware, there are definitely spoilers throughout the interview! If you care about that sort of thing, then simply ignore the words for now and drool over the pictures.

Oh, and DA2 spoilers are totes allowed in the comment thread for this post, so get in there and talk! If you've finished! I'm lonely in there. :(

today in awesome: Hipster Effect

2011-03-16T11:16:00.000-07:00

Two of my favorite things- Mass Effect and ribbing hipsters- together at last! While perhaps a modicum of Mass Effect knowledge is necessary to really get it all, I think everyone can enjoy Fuck Yeah Hipster Effect on some level.

I related news, "Ribbing Hipsters" is now the name of my new band. Tell everyone you liked us before we went mainstream.

Got the tip on mah Twitter! Thanks, sarcasticdoug.

Now that I'm done...

2011-03-15T09:37:00.000-07:00

...with Dragon Age II, let me just say: wow. When I left off in my review of Act I, I was unsure how I really felt about it. I was still getting used to the vastly different gameplay, but more importantly, the story hadn't quite gelled yet. Well, it didn't take long in Act II before it clicked- or I clicked, or whatever- and it really started to heat up. The story grew and grew and wrapped around itself, hurtling towards a denouement that was nothing less than...sorry, I have to use the word- epic.

Dragon Age II doesn't have the scope of Origins in terms of geography; where previously you could travel around an entire country (Ferelden), now you're limited to the sprawling city of Kirkwall and a couple of outlying environs. What it lacks in scenery, however, it more than makes for in terms of scope of story. I found this tale of politics and religion to be ultimately more intriguing, mature, dark, and deep than the "stop the Blight" tale of my Grey Warden in Origins. I can't help but feel that huge complaints in that department must come from players who haven't finished yet, or are prefer action to story and blah blah blah.

While early on DA 2 feels like little more than a bunch of random sidequests, they nearly all weave together by the time the tale ends. What you do in Act I- sometimes even the most trivial of decisions- will have repercussions later on, for better or for worse.

As I knew I would, I dug nearly all of my companions- some of them, however, I didn't bother to get to know this time around. By the time it was over, I ended up killing a couple of them and romancing a couple of others. They're constantly surprising, whether it's their reaction to something you say or do, or their in-game actions. The friendships, when you acquire them, are ultimately more satisfying than those in Origins- here, you can't necessarily kiss ass and give presents to get someone to like you. You can't please everyone all the time, and for various reasons and in various ways, you can lose most of them. Permanently.

Likewise, my Hawke became fleshed out as the story went on, as she evolved into the Champion of Kirkwall. The Hawke family drama never ends, and on several occasions...well, let's just say I had to bust out a "There's just something in my eye." as my vision got all water-blurry.

All of this is to say: I loved it.

This doesn't mean it's a game without faults, because it certainly isn't. Personally, I never experienced graphic and texture glitches, but I've seen plenty of complaints about them. PC players are largely unhappy that the interface has been console-ized. The re-used environments smack of "rush job" and are disheartening. It's one thing to be stuck in Kirkwall and its environs, but it's another when every house in Kirkwall has the same interior and the bandit cave looks just like the cave inhabited by Shades. It's just...you know, something you have to deal with, and the story, to me, more than makes up for these sorts of quibbles.

As I've noted, the combat is certainly more button-mashing than tactical. That's going to matter to you, or it's not, depending on your own preferences as a player. A profound statement, I know! Warrior and rogue are a hell of a lot of fun, and while I miss the sweet animated finishing moves of Origins, there are ample "Did you just see that?" moments and some incredibly difficult battles. One huge fight in particular...good gravy. When BioWare themselves say "Heaven forfend you try this on Nightmare difficulty", you know it's a toughie.

And as I've also noted, the inventory system is a bit caca, but you get used to it. It does have improvements over its predecessor, though, like the fact that there aren't potion sizes anymore. You get a "lyrium potion" and that's that. Ordering runes and potions from your home is a nice, convenient touch as well.

Right before the credits roll, there's one small, seemingly throwaway line that hints at what's been going on in Thedas in the decade since Origins began...and that something is coming. For all the "Hey, where's my Grey Warden?" shock when the protagonist of Dragon Age II was announced...well, we should have known that this is all some big master plan on the part of developers and that the stories of The Hero of Ferelden and The Champion of Kirkwall are far more intertwined than we could have imagined. All I know for sure is that my drooling for Dragon Age III has already begun.

BEWARE: SPOILER DISCUSSION IN THE COMMENTS. Like, full-blown, game over, say whatever you want, everything is revealed spoilers. You've been warned!!

a few thoughts on DRAGON AGE II

2011-03-11T11:25:00.000-08:00

This morning, I faced a terrible dilemma: should I write something about Dragon Age II, or should I wait until I've finished the game? As I've only just completed Act I after a week of playing into the wee hours of the morning, when the house has gone all still and quiet, a full review wouldn't come for a long time yet. But! I feel like I should say something about it, hmm? I've got enough play under my belt to have a decent opinion on it, so why not give some thoughts on it, especially after the way I've gone on and on and on about my ? That's what The Internet and BLOGS are for. I mean, I read one review written after 3-4 hours of gameplay, which...well, that's not really enough time to grasp it, I think, but if you hate a game, you hate a game. And it seems that the knee-jerk reaction from fans, so far, is on the negative side of the scale.

That's because an awful lot has changed since Dragon Age: Origins...big big changes, some for the better, some for the not better. I suppose this is what Morrigan was talking about at the end of Witch Hunt, when she was going on about all the changes that were coming and how people don't like change but they must accept it and adapt. Very slick, BioWare! Very slick.

Let's hold hands and walk through some of this. I will keep this spoiler-free, but I'm going to assume that you played through the demo...so, I guess there are actually spoilers for that, but nothing that's not covered in the first 30-45 minutes in the game. Oh, and for what it's worth, on my first playthrough I'm a sessy rogue Lady Hawke.

GRAPHICS
The visual style in Dragon Age II is vastly different than in its predecessor. I'm not a huge graphics hound, so while I'll admit the environments- particularly "wildlands", for lack of a better word- are a bit dull, I'm perfectly happy with it. A note- dungeon layouts are reused...and reused some more. Areas will be blocked off during one quest, then opened up for another. It's not quite as glaring an issue as it was during Mass Effect, but some players are shouting about it from the top of Mount Internet. I don't find it that distracting, personally.

The biggest changes has to do with character race. Elves, dwarves, and Qunari have all undergone massive design overhaul. Massive. MASSIVE. It's good, if initially a bit shocking to anyone who's played the first game. Characters you met in Origins who pop up in DA II will look vastly different than you remember them. I like that now elves don't just look like slightly shorter humans with slightly pointier ears, and Qunari don't look like slightly taller humans with brows that are slightly more furrowed. They're definitely other races, which ties into the story as a whole. In particular, the new Qunari design is awesome. They're kind of terrifying. Check out Sten, a companion from the first game, and the Arishok from the second. Which is more formidable?

COMBAT
As I noted in my review of the demo, there's a fair amount of button mashing during combat. This may be because I'm a fan of melee; a mage might be tapping the A button significantly less. The action is so fast and furious, I think going back to the battles in Origins would feel like fighting through molasses. The tactics menu feels deeper, which is good; since there's no auto-attack option (at least on consoles; I've read there is auto-attack on PCs), it's tough to dole out commands to party members in the thick of things. I love that, actually. I'm not big into planning and plotting and controlling everyone on the battlefield at all times. I set up one mage to heal me when I need it, and then I go in hacking and get shit done.

INVENTORY
Items and inventory comprise one area where Dragon Age II drops the ball, methinks. Most RPG fans dig loot. They dig stats and earning money and items with lore behind 'em and inventory micromanagement. DA II has essentially gotten rid of all of that, and it just plain stinks. While you can change your companions' weapons, you can't change their armors or outfits- there are a few upgrades available for them throughout the game, but their appearances can't be altered. There are woefully few outfits and weapons for Hawke, as well, although judging by the items I have picked up, it's rogues who get the short end of the stick in that regard. Junk inventory- the crap you pick up solely for the purposes of selling- is limited to eight or so varieties ("torn trousers", "opal fragment", etc) and it goes straight to the "junk" tab. It's all very streamlined, but as I said- that micromanagement is something most RPG nuts dig and while it may seem a small thing, it does add to immersion. IT DOES. I don't care if that makes me a nerd. I will cop to the fact that I find the armor to be much more badass-looking than in DA: O.

THE STORY
Story is where BioWare shines, but I'll admit- it's only at the end of Act I that Dragon Age II really starts to come together for me and even now, it feels...well, I can't quite get a grasp on it. The formula they've used for most every one of their games in the past- big, overarching plot; 4-6 large hub worlds; sidequests- has been eschewed in favor of...I'm not sure what. Once you arrive in Kirkwall, you remain in Kirkwall save a few expeditions to the coast and whatnot. Fast-traveling from place to place, it seems like a game made up exclusively of sidequests. Your journal keeps missions categorized (main plot, secondary, companion, etc), but it doesn't feel cohesive. A bigger picture is hinted at through the framing narrative with Varric and Cassandra as he tells Hawke's story, but I don't feel mired in it as Hawke herself. So far, while well written, it's just not completely gripping. It's getting better, and it seems that even small events will be intertwined as things play out- and I'm certainly not saying I don't dig it, or that I'm not invested. It's just a bit more scattered and superficial than I've come to expect from BioWare.

COMPANIONS & CHARACTERS
Hmm. My sessy Lady Hawke has picked up a lot of people on the road, but we don't feel exactly like a band of Merrye Travelers like my Warden's gang in Origins. The conversation wheel doesn't bother me in the least, but companion interactions are far shorter than they were in the first game. Maybe some players don't want to talk to NPCs for ten minutes at a stretch, listening to their stories and conversing; I do! It's one of the things I like best about BioWare games. In DA II, there's no central camp where everyone hangs out. Everyone is scattered across the city; if you want to talk to Isabela, you have to go to the pub. If you want to talk to Merrill, you go to her house. So far, most interactions- whether with companions or with random NPCs- feel limited to "Hawke asks three questions, the end". They're not conversations like you find in Mass Effect 2 or Origins (even with your silent protagonist), and as a result my sessy Lady Hawke feels a bit flat. I can't gauge her personality yet, even this far in.

All that said, most of the companions are decent enough, though they pale when compared to the charmers of Origins.

The person I'm most happy with so far is Flemeth. Holy fucking shit. I don't know if I've seen the last of her in this game or not- I hope not- but I love what they've done with her. Her appearance sheds light on plenty that happens in Origins, and you finally get a sense of how damn powerful she really is, if not completely what she really is. Again, I don't know if I've seen the last of her in Dragon Age II, but if so, I hope she becomes a major player and force in the franchise. And her aesthetic redesign is made of 100% pure awesome.

SO...
I dig this game. A lot, though I'm still trying to get my bearings, so to speak. It's very different than its predecessor and I'm not as completely enamoured with it as I was with Origins or either Mass Effect or KotOR, but I'm still loving the hell out of it, just in new ways. I guess I really took Morrigan's words and warnings in Witch Hunt to heart!

Be a legendary nerd!

2011-03-09T10:32:00.000-08:00

Umm...okay. Look, we all know I have a weakness for all things BioWare / Dragon Age, yes? Yes. And we all know I have a Facebook page, yes? No? Well, now you know. Anyohdearlord, those two things have come together in the form of ~~a bucket of water and a bear~~ Dragon Age: Legends...yes, a Facebook game. But! It's not just some DA-flavored FarmVille clone. It's RPG-y! There's combat! Look: Kotaku said "it's worth playing"! DON'T JUDGE ME!

Look! A desire demon!

Right now the game is in Closed Beta. I have five keys to give away that will allow...umm...five people into said Closed Beta. You can team up with people to take down tougher enemies and...look, I don't know how it all works completely. I just started playing. Along the way, you get some junk you can use in Dragon Age II, and that's good enough for me.

So. If you want in- to join up with my rogue Rubella (yes, "Rubella") on some quest for whatever, then hit me up and I'll give you a key. First come, first served. Don't be shy. Everyone's doing it!

Or, at least, I am, and I'm only a little bit embarrassed about it.

OH MY YES

2011-03-08T12:45:00.001-08:00

In related news, OH MY YES IT'S HERE.

"I'm going to Silent Hill."

2011-03-08T10:56:00.000-08:00

Madame FanGirlTastic sent me this still and info from the forthcoming Silent Hill: Revelation and dammit, I've decided to be excited about the film.

That's right. EXCITED. I remember how much I looked forward to Silent Hill and whether or not it ended up living up to the hype I created for myself, it is awfully nice to be pumped about a movie, to gobble up trailers and practically run to the theater for the first showing on opening day. It's easy to get bogged down in cynicism, to no longer care about films coming down the pike because everything sucks anyway, but you know what? Fuck that. I've been mighty bored with horror lately, and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being tired of it. I don't want to get all wrapped up in negativity and just put down everything, whether it's in pre-production or it's 30 years old. I love horror, and I love it most when I'm excited about it.

Therefore, I am excited about Silent Hill: Revelation. My interest was aroused (SO HOT) when it was announced that Michael J. Bassett (Wilderness, Deathwatch) was at the helm, and now that the basic plot is out there, my interest is like a boner the size of the Great Wall of China, which plenty of spam messages have assured me I can have if I send away for some pills. Behold!

For years, Heather Mason (Adelaide Clemens) and her father have been on the run, always one step ahead of dangerous forces that she doesn’t fully understand. Now on the eve of her 18^th birthday, plagued by terrifying nightmares and the disappearance of her father, Heather discovers she's not who she thinks she is. The revelation leads her deeper into a demonic world that threatens to trap her in Silent Hill forever.

DUDE. They're basing it on Silent Hill 3! Heather! Female protagonist! Totally unexpected. Totally boss. I hope that they're true enough to the game that she sports a silver puffy vest and there's some effed up Otherworld mall action.

At the risk of sounding like Kool Aid Man, OH fucking YEAH.

They've just started filming this in Toronto, so it's going to be quite some time before I have to worry about being first in line...but you know what? I CAN'T WAIT.

Unf.

2011-03-04T10:56:00.000-08:00

It is really, really killing me- KILLING ME UNSOFTLY- to pay as little attention as possible to news about Star Wars: The Old Republic. It is a Star Wars game. It is a Star Wars game from my favorite developer. It is a Star Wars game from my favorite developer, who already made a Star Wars game that is one of my favorite games.

As it's clear that The Old Republic is like a perfect storm of my heart, why am I disregarding it so? Because it's an MMO and...meh. It's not so much that I'm a solitary gamer (though I am)- it's that there's the repeat cost thing, subscription fees. It's also that I'm afraid I'll get completely sucked in and become some tragic story on Kotaku or something: SAD WOMAN SPENDS FOUR STRAIGHT DAYS LEVELING UP, FORGETS TO EAT, DIES, IS FOUND BY NEIGHBOR HALF-EATEN BY CATS. Seriously. At least non-MMOs have an end point! The story will come to a close, and no matter how much I obsessively play, I know I'll be saved from sad death if only by the virtue of a finale.

Okay, I probably wouldn't DIE, but a neverending story is bad for me, unless of course Limahl is somehow involved.

Oh yeah, and the other big reason? I don't have a PC and my Mac is decidedly ungameworthy...so all my fretting about my sad death is fretting about something inconsequential.

The point is, I find it best to be a big baby and ignore things I want but can't have. They make it so difficult, however, when they do things like making trailers for the effing bounty hunter class. Stupid awesome-looking game! Stupid out of reach temptations! Stupid everything!

DIVINITY II: EGO DRACONIS

2011-03-02T10:21:00.000-08:00

My mobile phone, she is a simple thing. It makes calls and sends texts (or, more accurately, I make calls and send texts on it), but it does little else. There is a camera, but the quality of the photos is exceptionally sucky and further, I don't know how to get the photos off of there. I mean, I've got a picture of a door with a sign that says TOYLET PLEASE NOCK on there, and I can't really share it with the world. What's the point? Aside from the lovely built-in cameras, I don't envy people with their fancy iPhones and whatever else is out there. I don't need (or want) to check my email or what my cyberfriends are posting on Faceplace when I'm away from my computer. My brain is an old peoples' brain in that sort of regard; this incessant, constant attachment to The Internet (and each other) baffles me. But, you know. Whatevs.

However, my views don't mean that I fail to see how handy a mobile Internet can be. When a-browsin' and a-shoppin', I've often scolded my phone for not doing more. "If you were fancier," I say, "I could look up a review of this game/movie/thing I don't really need, and then I could make a more informed decision about whether or not to purchase it."

Understandably, my phone is usually put off by this. "You used to buy things- or not buy them- back in the days before The Internet. What did you do then, hmm? Besides, the reason I'm not fancier is because you don't really care about me. What's the point? Why should I be all nice and feature-laden and pricy when you ignore me? You let my battery die and don't charge me up for days. You forget where I am. You leave me in your car's glove compartment, cold and lonely amongst the maps and insurance information. Is this my fault? If I'm not everything you want me to be, then maybe you should look at yourself."

My instinct is to react harshly, to give my phone a rebuttal that ends with it in no less than four pieces on the sidewalk, but after a moment's pause, I realize that my phone is right. I also realize that it can do something besides take cruddy pictures of barely-literate gas station signery...my phone can connect to other phones, which allows me to talk to other people!

This is all my incredibly long-winded and pointless way of saying "I was at a Gamestop somewhat recently, and I came across a cheap game called Divinity II: Ego Draconis. I'd never heard of it, but it seemed like a Dragon Age-esque western RPG (be still my heart) and the Latin in the title intrigued me. However, "cheap" is still not "free", and I was unsure whether or not to pick it up. I would have asked for opinions from the Gamestop staff, but...well, come on. So, what to do? I stepped outside (don't want to be talky and rude in the store, you know) and called a friend, who looked up Divinity II on The Internet for me. The verdict seemed to be a decided 'not bad'. I was still intrigued, so I decided to pony up the cheap dollars and bring it home."

That was only marginally less long-winded than my original introduction, so I apologize.

In Divinity II, you begin on the path to becoming a Dragon Slayer, one who seeks out and kills Dragon Knights, people with the ability to transform into dragons. After a twist and turn or two, however, you are imbued with the power from Talana, a dying Dragon Knight. The hunter becomes the hunted! As kids from 20 years ago might say, "Oh snap."

There are standard fantasy RPG elements as you travel throughout Rivellon- fetch me this, kill some goblins that- but some tweaks to the formulae keep it fresh. For example, instead of the standard "choose your class" at the beginning (eg mage, rogue, or warrior), you can become any hybrid of the three that you wish. You can duel-wield weapons, pick locks, and cast spells. Mind you, if you spread out your skills too much when leveling up, there's a chance that you won't be strong in any of the classes- you can't learn everything about everything. I felt decently balanced, though, as a rogue who could cast healing and a few offensive spells.

Combat is pretty fun, if a bit stilted one way or another throughout the entire game. At low levels, I got my ass handed to me constantly, to the point where I couldn't advance the story because I was unable to defeat, you know, the 50 skeleton warriors hanging around outside the place I needed to go. At higher levels, though, I was all but unstoppable, laying waste to everyone around me.

This is definitely a western-flavored RPG, in that it's not turn based and conversation choices mean you can give your character- male or female- some personality. Only some, though, as the development isn't too deep. At one point, for example, a quest text entry says "Your parents would be proud."...but who the hell are my parents? Who the hell am I? The game begins as you're about to undertake the Dragon Slayer initiation, but any personal history you have prior to that is up to your brain.

There are some "moral choices" to be found, but they don't influence much beyond the immediate outcome. You can help Person A or Person B, but it won't have much of an impact on the game as a whole. Through dialogue, you can render yourself goody-goody, smartass, etc. There's no romance, but there's flirting...and there's a surprising amount of humor.

And yeeessssss, eventually you can transform into a fucking dragon! Fly around blasting shit with fire! Undeniably, it's sweet. You change form in a flash, making the transformation quick and smooth. It's a highlight that gives Divinity II an edge over games where...you know, you can't turn into a dragon at will.

Overall, I really dug this game a lot. The graphics were nice- particularly the environments- and the gameplay was fast and fun. I don't want to give anything away, but I've read people complaining online (WEIRD, RIGHT?) about the ending, which is...a twist to say the least. Personally, I loved the big FUCK YOU it gives players as it sets up for the inevitable Divinity III. It's a dark semi-resolution, as you might expect from the middle chunk of a trilogy...I mean, if you learned anything from The Empire Strikes Back, LotR: The Two Towers, or even Mass Effect 2. Apparently there's content out there (downloadable on PC and...maybe Europe?) that adds an epilogue more satisfying to gamers. This content will be included with Divinity II's Xbox 360 re-release in April, Divinity II: The Dragon Knight Saga.

See, if I had an Internet phone and I looked up Ego Draconis that fateful day at Gamestop, I might've found out about that re-release and held off on a purchase. But what would I have done instead? Would I have bought another game? Where would I be in my life? Why, this could be a review of a CSI game or something! How strange.

Should you hold off? Perhaps. I'm not sure what the bonus content will do to the ending, but again, Ego Draconis is a satisfying, complete game. Though lengthy, it's not as deep and complex as Dragon Age, but again again- you can turn into a GD dragon! If you like western RPGs, you could do much worse than giving it a go.

Atari 2600 box art

2011-02-25T10:56:00.001-08:00

Talking about the loverly box art for Haunted House the other day got me jonesin' to check out and post some more Atari 2600 beauteousness...so I did! Man, even Tic Tac Toe looks cool.

Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim gameplay trailer!

2011-02-24T09:07:00.000-08:00

Bethesda Softworks dropped the official chock full o' gameplay trailer for Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim today. Umm, I know the word is totally overused nowadays, but...this shit is epic!

My introduction to the world of Elder Scrolls was Oblivion, and it's still the only game in the series I've played for (far, far) more than ten minutes. (I know people loooves 'em some Morrowind, but it's clunky and difficult and frustrating as all hell on the Xbox...especially if you experienced Oblivion first.) It took me a while to get into it, and for a while I was tempted to put it down completely. I'd never partaken in a game so open-world and sandbox-y before, and it took some getting used to. To be honest, I never felt completely attached to my character or the main plot, but damned if I didn't thoroughly enjoy the world (despite the flat NPCs)..."world" being the key word. There's just so much out there to see and do in Cyrodiil- with hundreds of hours logged, there's still more to be discovered. Kind of amazing, really.

Skyrim is definitely on my must-get list (it hits 11/11/11). I'm hoping that those beautiful graphics of the trailer are matched to some compelling characters this go-round; if so, well. I just don't know what I'll do, but I'm sure I'll tell you all about it. WOW.

OG survival horror

2011-02-23T11:46:00.000-08:00

I love that thanks to Xbox Live, I have the option to play game demos at the price of no price. I will try any game for free. Any game I say! Recently I tried out the demo of the recent remake of Haunted House because why not? The original game, made for Atari 2600 and released in 1982, is likely the first survival horror game. I don't think I ever finished it- my disembodied eyeballs trapped in the Graves mansion, dying a slow death and eventually eaten by bats. In a strange way, I hope this is my real life fate as well.

The remake maintains the same premise as the original- search the mansion for pieces of an urn and defend yourself from ghosts, bats, and spiders with nary more than the light of a match. The graphics are decidedly improved, which...you know. You might expect that they would be considering the hardware advances that have happened over the 30 years between versions. 30 years. 30...years. THIRTY YEARS.

I can't lie, the demo was fun, if totally aimed at kids. Characters say things like "OMG!" which...blehhhhh. I'm not the target demographic, certainly, but the demo was enjoyable enough, maintaining the spirit of the original game.

Okay, secret revealed: while I did download and play the demo on a whim of curiosity, I'm really just using that fact to write something where I can post box and ad art from the original game, both of which are so good:

Beauteous! I love the way video game box art used to really fuel the imagination and despite the terrible graphics of the games (graphics, I should note, that were astounding at the time), the entire game world was fleshed out in my nerdy head. Maybe it's just kids that have that ability, I don't know. The box art was technically misleading, I guess, but to me it was always more a flavor-enhancer. Like Mrs Dash, or MSG!

Oh! And perhaps best of all is that all of this Haunted House talk led me to a startling discovery: you can play the original game on the new game's website. Perhaps my disembodied eyeballs will make it out of the mansion after all...

Demo done!

2011-02-22T17:10:00.000-08:00

If you're not me and therefore not making out with your body pillow that says DRAGON AGE on it every night (that's a joke) (probably), then you may not know that the demo for Dragon Age II dropped today for Xbox 360 (Gold members only, which is pretty dopey), PS3, and PC. I knew, though. OH I KNEW. That shit has been downloaded and pa-layed, my friends. And what? Was it disappointing? Or was it superappointing (which should be the opposite of disappointing)? Am I anticipating the March 8th release date more, or will I only acknowledge March 8th as Cynthia Rothrock's birthday? Hmm?

Oh please, like you don't know. When the demo ended- roughly 1-1.5 hours after I'd begun- I was, how you say, extremely bummed that I had to stop. This is good, as it has me greatly anticipating my chance to mainline this game in a couple of weeks. Well, anticipating it more, I should say. Let's face it, BioWare would have had to really gunk up the works for me to come away from it with a serious case of the sads...make no mistake, though- things have indeed changed quite a bit since your first foray into Ferelden.

As you probably know by now, Dragon Age II eschews the more customizable main character creation of its predecessor- here, you are Hawke. Whether male or female, Hawke is human and, over the course of the game, will become known as "The Champion of Kirkwall". However, class, first name, and appearance remain up to you, though the appearance customization menu was was disabled for the demo. No matter! Default FemHawke is a babe. The bearded DudeHawke is a hottie too, so I'll likely stick with the defaults during playthroughs. For my first venture into DAII, I played rogue, as usual. I'll likely play again as a warrior and mage just to check 'em out.

Sessy rogue FemHawke and her...ah...well-endowed sister

The game in its entirety will take place over a decade, from the darkspawn invasion/destruction of Lothering (as sort-of seen in the original game) through...well, who knows what? Something that happens ten years later, duh. There's an interesting tale being told - now live out the tale format as Varric, one of Hawke's companions, relays the Champion's exploits to a Chantry seeker. I'm curious if this broken-up, back and forth style of storytelling will put a damper on the immersion as we skip over chunks of time.

As the game begins, Hawke and her family- mom, brother, and apostate mage sister- flee Lothering shortly after the disaster at Ostagar and events that took place in the first game. Battle your way through some Darkspawn and meet a few companions, including the warrior Aveline, who...well, if you listened to Leliana's lengthy tales in Dragon Age, then you know the story of Aveline's namesake. Mind you, none of that really has any bearing on anything (that I know of, yet), but it's a nice bone they've thrown to nerds like me who do things like, you know, listen to all of Leliana's lengthy tales. Make your way to Kirkwall and meet up with another companion- Isabela, who you'll probably remember from an encounter at The Pearl in the first game. She's of a totally different design and voice in DA II, though she still seems to enjoy bedroom shenanigans and she'll likely be a love interest for a Hawke of either gender.

Ah, and lest I forget, there's an appearance from a familiar face who...let's just say I've seen the character in DAII promotion art and I didn't realize that she is who she is. That's no doubt unclear, so to be specific, I'm talking about this character and specifically, this piece of art:

It's good to keep yourself in the dark about things sometimes; when she uttered an instantly recognizable line upon appearing onscreen, my mouth dropped open a little bit. I was all, like, WHAT. You know how I do.

Gameplay has changed more than a bit from Dragon Age. Gone is the KotOR-style "hit A and let the character do its thing until you want to make a special move" combat approach, replaced by a lot more button-mashing. Though you'll level-up a few times during the demo, abilities are limited; my gameplay was basically AAAAAXAAAAAYAAAAAX...but then, I'm admittedly quite horrible at tactics and squad management. Even as a rogue, I tend to get in and get my melee on. The combat animations in DAII are much faster than those in the first game- it's positively frenetic, and the backstab is entirely badass. As you fight wave after wave of Darkspawn and a couple of ogres, there's a good chance your entire party will be laid to waste.

As Dragon Age II puts you in Hawke's shoes, your character actually speaks this go-round. This, of course, means the implementation of that love it or hate it device from Mass Effect, the conversation wheel. "Good" or "bad" replies render your character kinder or fiercer, and push your companions towards one end or the other on a "friend-rival" scale. It's early yet, but I like this so-called Hawke. I'm okay with being a character with a specific background.

The graphics...well, I'm reserving judgment on those. The character animations and cutscenes were terrific. It's got a different look and feel than Dragon Age, but largely it seems to be an improvement; the environments along the way from Lothering into the Korcari Wilds were pretty dull, however- purple-ish, burnt out sand dunes as far as the eye could see. The demo ended before I could dig into Kirkwall, so who knows how it'll be. The scale certainly seemed to be much larger than Denerim; hopefully it'll be well-populated and feel like a real city. My one HUGE complaint is that text is all but impossible to read on a standard-definition television. I know there are only five of us left rockin' the SDTV, but it was really a hindrance.

The new mechanics will take some getting used to, but that's to be expected. The storytelling looks to be top-notch, on par with what I've come to expect from BioWare. Sure, I'll miss the old gang and my Grey Warden, but I'm sure to fall in love with this new crop of heroes as well. Why, I bet I'll love 'em almost as much as I love my Dragon Age body pillow!

Man, that's so creepy.

Yes, I love Mass Effect

2011-02-21T12:37:00.000-08:00

I know, that's BIG NEWS. But really...I've had art on the brain lately and thus, art coming out of my hands lately (or, to be more precise, art coming out of whatever implement is in my hands), and the latest thing I done did is a card of Jack (aka Subject Zero) from Mass Effect 2 during the escape from Purgatory. Here it be, hot off my desk!

My personal website is undergoing...mmm, technical difficulties at the moment, so I can't point you to my batch of Mass Effect cards, which are posted over there. What I can do, however, is re-post them here! That, my friends, is the power of computers.

I love (most of) my Mass Effect 2 companions, but...sniff...I miss (most of) the OG gang.

Nerd out.

Happy Birthday, Link

2011-02-21T10:30:00.000-08:00

Wow. The Legend of Zelda is 25 years old. I don't see how this is possible, since I clearly remember playing it on my NES when it came out and I just turned 21...but whatever. I don't get science.

For what it's worth, out of all the stick figure sketch cards I've done, this is one of my very favorites. *tear*

I've never been a huge Zelda-head. I never completed the first game. I was more miserable at the second game, the strange side-scroller The Adventure of Link. Never finished Ocarina of Time, never played Majora's Mask...new-gen stuff is out of my grasp console-wise. I did, however, really dig (and finish-GASP) The Wind Waker, which caused all sorts of nerd rage when the game's whimsical art style was revealed.

I haven't played anything Zelda-y in years, but this Birthday has got me all a-jonesin' to. Link is a gen-u-ine video game icon, and I'll be damned if the original theme song doesn't float through my head once in a while. It's ingrained, for better or for worse.

Anyway, if you care at all, Kotaku.com is celebrating Zelda all week long. If you don't care at all, then I bid you good day. I SAID GOOD DAY.

survival horror's not dead

2011-02-17T15:48:00.000-08:00

You guys, just...wow. Watch this.

I don't know anything about Dead Island regarding gameplay style, story...anything, except that it's got zombies. Right now, I don't care- I'm gonna just bask in that amazing trailer that's more evocative than 90% of the zombie movies out there. Wow. Great.

Man, that's professional LARPing

2011-02-15T11:53:00.000-08:00

YOU GUYS I decided to post something abut Dragon Age today, which is totally weird, right?

See, the thing is, Dragon Age II is so close now, I can't think of much else. Well, I mean "much else" in a gaming context. I don't mean that I'm sitting on the edge of my bed, staring at the wall, forgetting to eat and making a mess (yes, that kind of a mess) because I'm dreaming about Dragon Age II.

Okay, maybe I mean that a little bit. But really, I mean that I've tried to play other games lately, but they don't seem to work out for the long haul. I'm all, "Metro 2033 I like you and all, but you're not Dragon Age. I think maybe we should just be friends because let's face it- when March 8th rolls around, I'm dumping you anyway."

As the release date draws nearer, news items are posted on The Internet with frequent frequency and this does not help quell my fever. A snippet of gameplay here, a screencap there and I'm taking to my fainting couch.

Today's unexpected DA news (well, unexpected by me, anyway) is that a live-action webseries called Dragon Age: Redemption is coming.

The six episode series is written by (and starring) Felicia Day, known to most folks as the mastermind behind the hit webseries The Guild. Redemption will follow the story of elven assassin Tallis (Day), as she...like...does Dragon Age-y stuff on a "quest to capture a renegade magician".

I haven't read much of the fan reaction to the announcement, but I'm sure that the idea of translating a beloved game property into a live-action series has plenty of nerds all ten kinds of up in arms. The opportunity to be up in arms, after all, is why The Internet was invented. This nerd's arms, however, are down. Or sort of down, I guess, since I'm typing. Why? Not only because The Guild is proof of her writing abilities, but because Felicia Day plays the GD game and she loves it. Over at USA Today, she opines: "[Mass Effect and Dragon Age], bar none, are my favorites now. The storytelling in games has gotten so sophisticated. I'm a huge fantasy novel geek, too. Dragon Age really is like living a novel." It would seem to me, then, that her enthusiasm for the game series will translate to the web series. What's not to look forward to? I mean, there are going to be elves and shit! This is only a good thing.

Of course, Morrigan disapproves...but then Morrigan disapproves of everything.

Mind you, the fact that I greatly anticipate Dragon Age: Redemption doesn't diminish the fact that I'm completely envious that Day got to write a Dragon Age webseries. I'm dealing with it.

seven...err, nearly three minutes in heaven

2011-02-10T11:37:00.000-08:00

YOU GUYS Dragon Age II is out in less than a month. Less than a month! March 8th! There's a downloadable demo coming on February 22 that will allow you to play through the game's prologue. Personally, I'm unsure if I'll play the demo, or if I'll just wait and mainline the entire thing when it arrives.

The point of all this is, I didn't think I could get more excited about this game, but then this three minutes of footage showed up and...well, is that a metaphorical boner in my pants or am I just happy to see this?

Sorry, that was gross and didn't really make any sense. Still: OH YES MARCH 8th.

What class do you prefer playing? My first preference is rogue. I like to get all up close and personal ooh deadly melee style, and, much like Jill Valentine, I consider myself to be a Master of Unlocking.

(via Topless Robot. Thanks to John Cowan for the tip!)

i am totally scientific

2011-02-08T17:10:00.000-08:00

After asking you guys to answer some questions yesterday, I figured it was only fair that I answer them myself, too. Before I do that, however (I know, so exciting!), please- keep answering in the comments on that post! It's all quite enjoyable to read. Y'all loves some FFVII, huh?

Let's do this.

What's your favorite game genre (RPG, FPS, etc)?

Hmm. HMM. This is a tougher question than I thought. Survival horror? 3rd person adventure? RPG? RPG. Yes.

What's your favorite game of all time ever ever EVAR? Just one game. ONE I SAY.

Oh man, this is even tougher! Mass Effect. There, I said it. No wait, Dragon Age. No wait, Mass Effect and Dragon Age. Dang, that's two...okay, MassEffectDragonAge. That works!

If a game features moral choices...do you generally play it good or evil?

I always play through as "good" the first go-round, then "evil" with a different character the second time. My impulse is nearly always to be helpful and nice, even though...you know, it's not as if I'd be mean to real people or anything. But in a game, when it comes to, say, helping orphans or not, though, chances are I'm going to help them. It's usually a smart idea, too, as the "good" path tends to open up more missions and quests.

That's not to say there aren't times when I love being bad even on a goody-goody journey. I've punched plenty of people and stolen from them and more. Being bad in these games is frequently hilarious, which is why I need an "evil" playthrough, even if my behavior is sometimes cringe-worthy and totally over the top (I mean, have you ever executed Shiala on a Renegade run in Mass Effect? That's some cold-blooded shit!).

Do you play more than one major game at a time? Or play a game 'til its conclusion then move on to the next title?

I generally play through from beginning to end, lest I put a game down for too long and realize I have no clue what I'm doing when I pick it up again. Sometimes I'll break up a game by playing something that has no story to speak of (Rock Band, etc).
What's the first video game you remember playing?

Combat on Atari 2600, baby.

Which systems do you currently own/play?

Xbox 360 gets nearly all my love, but I still bust out the PS2 and GameCube, and I have a Super Nintendo sitting in my closet. I'd love a PS3...someday. And a Wii, too.

Do you participate in online gaming?

I'd have to say no, as I've only done it once. If I chose to engage in some online shenanigans, though, I'd only do it with people I know, even if I only know them in a cyber-fashion. The idea of jumping into a round of Halo with a bunch of unknown gamers gives me both the heebies and the jeebies.
Are you a release-day purchaser? Do you trade in games and buy used?

If possible financially, I'm definitely release-day for a few select series (Resident Evil, Silent Hill, anydamnthing from BioWare), but otherwise I wait for massive sales and price drops. As such, I'm generally way behind the curve on these things (who knows when I'll get to Dead Space 2?), but I don't mind.

I used to trade in games all the time as a means to save money on new titles, but I've stopped as I've really regretted getting rid of some games. For a few reasons, I've also stopped buying used unless the game is very old and out of print: you don't save much on recently-released games; I'd just...rather have new; publishers don't get any dough from used sales. I'd rather the people that make the game get some of my money rather than all of it going to the store selling it.

Oooh, I loves me some Resident Evil.

Are you more a console gamer or a PC gamer?

Console, although I have a couple of simple time-killers on my computer. My Mac is...well, it's a Mac, so there aren't a ton of games made for it, and besides- my Mac be old and it can run many games. I've nothing against PC gaming and if I could afford to make that happen for myself, I certainly would.

Do you play any "casual" games, such as the Zynga titles on Facebook (Farmville, Whateverville)?

None of the 'Villes, although the new Dragon Age game that'll be on Facebook is awfully tempting. I've played a few flash games in my day, though.

There. I think we all feel much closer now, yes?

totally scientific

2011-02-07T12:17:00.001-08:00

Hey, game-players or people who do not play games: take part in my Curiosity Questionnaire by answering these questions in the comments. If you want. Could be fun. Maybe.

Curiosity Questionnaire!

What's your favorite game genre (RPG, FPS, etc)?
What's your favorite game of all time ever ever EVAR? Just one game. ONE I SAY.
If a game features moral choices...do you generally play it good or evil?

Do you play more than one major game at a time? Or play a game 'til its conclusion then move on to the next title?

What's the first video game you remember playing?
Which systems do you currently own/play?

Do you participate in online gaming?
Are you a release-day purchaser? Do you trade in games and buy used?
Are you more a console gamer or a PC gamer?
Do you play any "casual" games, such as the Zynga titles on Facebook (Farmville, Whateverville)?

Hooray, Curiosity Questionnaire!

SILENT HILL: A Series Retrospective

2011-01-28T00:22:00.000-08:00

Talk is heating up- HEATING UP I SAY- about the latest Silent Hill title in development- Silent Hill: Downpour. Articles, screenshots, and music clips are leaking...heh.

"Leaking"..."Downpour". See what I did there? Terrible! Anyway, the point is that I thought this would be a good time to take a look back at the entire series, which debuted last century, people. Why, I believe Silent Hill can now be considered "venerable".

Silent Hill (1999)

In 1999, the internet was just shy of becoming the non-stop hype machine it is today. In marked contrast to the latest iteration, Downpour, the original Silent Hill simply appeared on the scene from nowhere and quickly became a game changer in the world of survival horror. Whereas Resident Evil relied on jump scares and tried-and-true movie monsters such as zombies to frighten players, Silent Hill approached video game fear in an entirely different way. Atmosphere, limited visibility, sound design...even camera angles were used to maximum effect in disconcerting players. Like no other game that came before it, Silent Hill got in your head. The team behind this game seemed to understand that horror is best when all of the audience's senses are engaged. Okay, maybe not smell. Or touch, really. Or taste. But you get my point, which is that Silent Hill is a complete experience that envelops you and puts the player in the game. On one late-night playthrough, the chills up my back were too much and I turned this shit off. That's a pretty effective game.

Harry Mason, knocked unconscious during a car crash, wakes to find his young daughter Cheryl missing from the car. He thinks he spots her running away and gives chase, only to find himself in the fog-enshrouded town of Silent Hill. Once inside, however, he discovers that it's not simply a patch of bad weather; rather, there are some evil forces at work. The town seems abandoned and monsters roam the streets. Roads disappear and Harry cannot leave...and occasionally, the "Otherworld" takes over and Silent Hill becomes a twisted version of itself, dilapidated and drowned in complete darkness. As he explores, he uncovers the truth: there's a cult trying to resurrect an Old God, and Cheryl figures prominently into their plans, etc etc. Effing cults. It's always something with a GD cult!

The plot may be a bit of a head scratcher, but there are several outcomes/resolutions, including the infamous, jokey "UFO" scenario. Multiple ending possibilities would become a series hallmark...along with clunky controls, awkward combat, and camera issues. Hey, Silent Hill may not a perfect gameplay experience, but that's a small price to pay for such immersive atmosphere and aesthetics. As wonderful as the visuals are (even on a PS1 game!), the effectiveness owes as much- if not more- to the soundtrack work of Akira Yamaoka, whose name quickly became synonymous with the series. Whether its jarring, discordant noises that set your teeth on edge or melodies that lull you into a false sense of security, the sounds he's given the town have given the town life.

I'm not gonna lie- I'd love to see Silent Hill get a graphical upgrade-ening. It worked well for Resident Evil when the PS1 version was overhauled for the GameCube: vastly improved visuals and gameplay, but the story, though tweaked, was largely left alone. Guess I know what one of my upcoming birthday wishes will be!

Silent Hill 2 (2001)

Widely touted as not only the best game in the series but one of the greatest horror survival games in the history of ever, Silent Hill 2 is absolutely a masterpiece, a remarkable experience from beginning to end.

James Sunderland receives a letter from Mary, his wife- his dead wife- asking him to meet her in Silent Hill, where the couple vacationed years prior. Much like Harry Mason, upon arrival James finds himself trapped within the town's fog-laden streets. He battles monsters, meets a few other people wandering the streets, and finally comes across Maria, who bears a striking resemblance to Mary. As he tries to piece together this puzzle of WTF-ery, alarms blare and Silent Hill morphs into Otherworld...

In Silent Hill 2, the town is almost a living entity, beckoning people to itself and becoming a type of purgatory where people are judged for misdeeds. After several conversations with Eddie and Angela, two people equally as confused by the goings-on as James, it becomes evident that Silent Hill is malleable and provides people with...well, a custom-made experience, sort of like Room 101 in Orwell's 1984. For James, the town is rotting and full of monsters; for Angela, however, it's on fire. Illness, sexuality, guilt, remorse, murder, suicide, abuse, desire, deprivation- Silent Hill 2 deals with some heavy, adult themes and definitely earns its "M" rating. There's a sadness lingering over the whole affair, and it's as depressing as it is unsettling.

The gameplay, while still frustrating at times, is vastly improved over the first game, and difficulty levels of combat and puzzles can be set differently depending on what type of experience the player wishes to have. The graphics, as you might expect, are also much better than its predecessor. Sound design in a video game has rarely been better, thanks once again to the work of Akira Yamaoka. The locales, from the hospital to the prison, are delightfully dark and ominous. Playing Silent Hill 2 is, more often than not, an absolutely terrifying experience. This is thanks, in no small part, to the presence of Pyramid Head, an imposing executioner who relentlessly stalks James throughout the entire game.

The Xbox release of Silent Hill 2 featured "Born from a Wish", a scenario that puts players in the role of Maria before she meets James. This is one of the earliest examples of platform-exclusive content and therefore one of the earliest instances of me saying "Well great, now I have to buy another system."

Silent Hill 3 (2003)

Whereas Silent Hill 2 is a standalone entry in the series, Silent Hill 3 is more or less a direct sequel to the first game, set 17 years later. Heather- the only female protagonist in the series- is raised by Harry Mason after she's given to him as an infant in one of Silent Hill's endings. Now nearly an adult, she's drawn to the mysterious town and learns that the old pesky cult has plans for her- plans that feature birthing Gods and all the usual cult stuff. You know how they do.

The Otherworld is still in full effect, and the standard equipment- a flashlight and a radio- return. Gameplay is the mix of puzzles, combat, and exploration that players expect. It's also as scary as you'd expect. All in all, there's not much to set SH 3 apart from the game that came before it, but more of a good thing can be...you know, a good thing when its done right.

Silent Hill 4: The Room (2004)

The fourth installment brings about that classic paradox uttered by game fans, movie fans, and the like: I'd complain if you gave me more of the same old thing, but now that you've given me something new and I'm going to complain that it's not more of the same old thing!

SH4 deviated from the established formula in several ways- not the least of which is to take the game out of Silent Hill and stick it in the town of South Ashfield, specifically in the apartment of Henry Townsend. He wakes to find himself locked inside his small domicile, but soon discovers a hole in his bathroom wall that leads to a Silent Hill-like Otherworld. He becomes embroiled in the tale of Walter Sullivan, a deceased serial killer mentioned in a newspaper scrap players can find in Silent Hill 2. Henry, haunted by the ghosts of Sullivan's victims, travels back and forth between his home and Otherworld locations in a quest to put Sullivan to rest once and for all and to get the eff out of his apartment.

The series needed a breath of fresh air by the fourth entry, and SH 4: The Room certainly provided one. While the notion of expanding upon a throwaway piece of SH trivia is noble and the game's plot is fairly strong, ultimately it's a case of "good ideas, poor execution". Traveling back to your apartment- the only place providing a save spot in the game- gets tedious quickly. Puzzles, once a huge part of the experience, are sorely lacking, while combat is quite difficult. The ghosts that pursue you are irritating more than frightening: they chase you from area to area, and they can't truly be defeated. It's just...not fun.

Is it the game, or is it me? Hard for me to say. I found it quite frustrating and, while it had a couple of shining moments, it's sadly lacking in the scares department. For example, the nurses- terrifying in all previous installments- become...err, something quite different in Silent Hill 4.

The Room is the only Silent Hill game I've ever traded in, and it's a decision I question. Again, is it me, or the game? Would I enjoy it more now that I know what to expect of it? If I find it on the cheap, I'll probably pick it up (YES AGAIN) and give you an all-new verdict. Or maybe a "Yeah, I was right the first time" verdict. I know, edge of your seat and peeing with anticipation and all that.

Silent Hill: Origins (2007)

Silent Hill: Origins is the first SH game brought to fruition by someone other than the original Japanese developers, Team Silent. After a few false starts, production shifted to the UK-based Climax Studios, who brought the gameplay style back to the familiar ground of the earliest games in the series. Origins, released initially on the PSP and later ported to PS2, is a prequel to the first game and tells the story of truck driver Travis Grady, who rescues a child from a fire and soon finds himself...dun dun dunnnn...mired in the goings-on in Silent Hill. The girl is Alessa Gillespie, who is not at all unfamiliar to players- she's been at the center of the SH cult's resurrection plans since Day One. Alessa disappears from the hospital where Travis brought her and as he tries to figure out how and why that happened, he remembers more and more of his past. It's no surprise that his ties to Silent Hill run deeper than a simple drive-by.

As I said, an effort was made to hearken back to the old days of Silent Hill and for a die hard fan like me, that's fine...even if, by this fifth installment, the beloved formula (flashlight...radio...puzzles) was a tad too familiar. Things were shaken up by tweaks to combat (including modified quick time events) and the main character's interaction with Silent Hill's infamous Otherworld. Before Origins, Otherworld would simply happen, heralded only by the blare of air sirens. Travis, however, has the ability to travel between worlds via mirrors, and his actions in one world affect things- objects, environments, etc- in the other. It's a unique development, certainly, but it also takes away the minutest bit from the gameplay; not knowing when the darkness will strike and, once ensconced in it, not being able to leave it, can put the player in a bit of a panic.

Then, too, there's just...something missing from Origins, though it's difficult to pinpoint one thing, exactly. It could be that originally, Silent Hill was essentially a Japanese interpretation of western horror. Highly influenced by movies like Jacob's Ladder and classics of genre literature (take a look at the street names in the map up top, won't ya?), SH was of a certain sensibility thanks to the culture of its development team. When the series was put back in the hands of western developers, it became an interpretation of an interpretation, a third-generation copy that, for all its superficial successes, rings hollow. It's enjoyable simply because it's Silent Hill, dammit, but it fails to leave a lasting impression or ever truly get under your skin the way the first three games did. It's possible, too, that the series was simply running out of steam. "Running out a steam" is apparently a long way from dead, however, as the SH games keep coming.

Silent Hill: Homecoming (2008)

The first Silent Hill game made for next-gen platforms Xbox 360 and PS3 came from another western developer, Double Helix. Alex is a combat veteran returning home to Shepherd's Glen, a hamlet that borders on Toluca Lake with Silent Hill, only to find things are terribly amiss. His mom is all zonked out and townsfolk- including his father and younger brother- have gone missing. He dives into the fray to get to the bottom of the mystery, and things get effed up.

Sound familiar? Yeah, it should by this point, and that's a shortcoming for Homecoming. To their credit, Double Helix made some changes that while seemingly minor, ultimately had a huge impact. In previous games, combat was awkward and difficult in part because of wonky camera and controls, but also because it was endemic to the protagonists. A dad, a trucker, a 17-year-old girl...the main characters in all other installments are just regular people who simply wallop monsters as best they can- which often isn't very well. Alex, however, is an ex-soldier and as such, he knows how to kick monster ass, wielding upgradeable weapons as he performs finishing moves and dodges attacks. In previous forays into Silent Hill, combat was to be avoided whenever possible; here, enemies pose little threat. As a result, Homecoming feels more like an action-based game than a psychological horror-based one.

Still, Homecoming isn't a bad game by any stretch- it's just a bit stale and predictable. The plot, while only loosely tied to Silent Hill itself, is serviceable; the visuals, though often too dark, are generally terrific when you can see 'em, and Akira Yamaoka's work is as good and atmospheric as ever. If this game were an original title and not tied to the Silent Hill series, it probably would have received higher marks across the board...but this is Silent Hill: Homecoming, and it's missing that certain something that made earlier games in the series so special.

Silent Hill: Shattered Memories (2009)

Climax Group, the team behind Origins, returned for Shattered Memories, a reboot/reimagining of the first game.

I know all you horror movie fans out there just felt a chill run down your spine, as we're all too accustomed to updatenings pooping all over our beloved classics.

And yes, up top I expressed a desire to see the first game given a graphical overhaul- that's something entirely different than a reboot. It's like the difference between scrubbing up James Cameron's Aliens for a Blu Ray released and Joe Schmoe director reimagining Ripley and her Space Marines as a science class on their worst field trip ever.

This is not to say that Shattered Memories is as bad as all that; I sheepishly admit that I don't really know. I played the first couple of hours on a friend's Wii, the platform to which the game was exclusive at the time. I don't own a Wii, so when that visit was over, so was my relationship with Shattered Memories. It has since ported to PS2, but...I wasn't so impressed that I felt the need to go pick it up. Additionally, the gameplay was very much tailored to the Wii's remote (which the player uses to aim the flashlight and utilize the cellphone), which may or may not translate well to the PS2's dual-shock controller. Shattered Memories is the first Silent Hill game I didn't rush out and buy on release day. I don't know why, but I feel like mentioning that. Surely it says something about something or other.

What I did play at my friend's house was admittedly fairly interesting. The story of Harry Mason and his daughter Cheryl, once again lost in Silent Hill, is intercut with scenes of Harry at a psychiatrist's office. Harry dutifully answers the doctor's questions, and those answers color the gameplay back in Silent Hill, from the puzzles he must solve to other characters he encounters. This allows for enough variety in the experience to warrant a few playthroughs.

The biggest changes, however, occur when Silent Hill enters the familiar Otherworld- in Shattered Memories, it ain't familiar at all. Rather than changing to a world of rust, decay, cages, and rotten flesh, it changes to a world of ice. There are also marked changes to combat in this installment: there is no combat. When the world turns blue and cold, Harry can only run away from the fleshy little dudes who chase after him. While this can be an exhilarating experience, it can also be one hell of a frustrating one as you try to navigate tricky environments and find a way out. Obviously, these enemy encounters are vastly different than any in the previous games; it certainly takes away that trademark feeling of dread when 1) you know the only time you'll be attacked is in Otherworld, and 2) encounters only entail relentless pursuit.

I don't know how far Shattered Memories deviates from the original game in terms of story because I haven't read plot spoilers; I figure someday I'll get me a Wii and then I'll see the game through to its completion simply because I am a nerd for all things Silent Hill. From where I'm standing now, it seems as if this could be another case of "If it wasn't a Silent Hill title, it'd be pretty good...", especially considering its home platform, which is sorely lacking in the horror games department. I'll eventually find out. I know, once more edge of your seat and peeing with anticipation and all that.

Silent Hill: Downpour (2011)

The forthcoming eighth game in the series, Downpour, is currently in development in the hands of Vatra Games, a Czech-based studio. Since the game's announcement at E3 last year, info and screenshots are becomeing more frequent- including a sizeable feature in the most recent Game Informer. I'd say things look promising, but then everything always looks promising when you're looking at pretty pictures and reading the promises of producers. Still...promising!

Apparently the protagonist is a prisoner named Murphy. The transport bus he's riding in crashes in a thick fog outside of Silent Hill. Murphy escapes the bus, heads into town, and...you know. Stuff happens.

What's got Silent Hill fans in an tizzy over Downpour is that it will be the first game in the series that won't feature the work of composer Akira Yamaoka. In his stead is Daniel Licht, the man behind the music of Dexter. Though Yamaoka's incredibly haunting work is as much a part of Silent Hill as is...well, the name Silent Hill, it's far too early to pass judgment on the effectiveness of Licht's work. Some of the music was posted recently on Kotaku and though it's got an undeniably (and expectedly) different feel than what's come before, it seems fine to moi. I hear mandolins, so, you know. That's good!

Design director Brian Gomez claims that Murphy's story will be his own- he won't have ties to Alessa, the town's history, the cult, or any of that hoo-ha. He simply stumbles into a bad situation...or does he? Vatra intends to make the town of Silent Hill a true "character" again, the way it was originally intended. If that's true, then Murphy's arrival is unlikely to be a coincidence; more likely, he was beckoned there (if only by fate) as penance for his criminal past. Sounds a bit Silent Hill 2-ish in storyline approach, but then it's too early to even speculate and besides, I don't want to get my hopes up.

Okay, yes I do! I do want to get my hopes up because I still fucking love the first three games in the series and call me lame, I want a new story set in that horrible, terrifying town that will share the essence of those early entries. I want to be scared so badly by the goings-on that I won't play it in the dark- hell, that I have to stop playing it altogether. I know it's ridiculous to want to simply recapture an experience, but when it's this good, why not? I'd rather keep believing that the next trip to Silent Hill will be the best one yet than think the series is all dried up and new voices won't have anything worthwhile to offer. What's the fun in that?

I do know better, however, than to hope for another cracked out dog ending.

I guess military standards are lower in the future...

2011-01-25T10:44:00.001-08:00

...because Ashley Williams is really cross-eyed.

Hey, Dragon Age nerds!

2011-01-19T12:57:00.000-08:00

First of all, I know- you're like, "What, Dragon Age again? Why not just call this blog Dragon Age Sandwich! Ha ha ha- Dragon Age Sandwich, amirite?" But listen, this is not simply another excuse for me to talk about one of my favorite games- well, okay, maybe it is just a little bit. More so, however, this is a post in the interests of public service, or least in service of that portion of the Xbox 360-playing public that finds itself wanting more Dragon Age...which, in my dreams, is everyone in the whole wide world.

Here's the deal: until January 24th, EA is running a massive sale on Xbox Live downloadable content, including every chunk o' Dragon Age-y goodness (and, to be fair, some Dragon Age-y mediocreness) to get you pumped for the countdown to Dragon Age II. LIKE I NEED IT. Anyobsessed, all DA DLC is 50% off- for those of you who are bad at percentages, that's half off! Of everything! So you should get what you don't have! Don't you think so?! DLC for 200 points! Yelling!

What's up for grabs and my thoughts on the such (because you're dying to know):

The Golems of Amgarrak

Reviews of this slight chunk o' DLC weren't too kind, so I didn't intend to pick it up whatsoever...but then this sale happened and the next thing I know, I'm heading into a thaig in search of some missing dwarves and the remnants of Caridin's research on the manufacture of golems. Now that I've played it, "slight" still seems an appropriate word. You can import your high-level Grey Warden or create a new one; it doesn't much matter as conversations are few and your Origins gameplay has little bearing on events. Some cool new enemies to fight (and the battles are as tough as advertised) and a couple of new items, but in the end it's short and more than a bit "meh" as you spend your time running back and forth through the same rooms repeatedly. To my mind it's best left to the completionists like myself; at least now that nagging voice constantly whining "But there's content out there I haven't played!" will shut the hell up.

The Darkspawn Chronicles

This alt-history content is also fairly short, but it's also quite fun. Dudes, unleash your dork...err, dark side and play as Darkspawn! Chronicles tackles the age-old question "But what if the player's Warden recruit had died during the Joining and it was up to Alistair to save Ferelden?" The answer: mankind would be royally fucked. Control hurlocks, genlocks, ogres, and all the gross villains at the Archdemon's command and kill your way through the siege of Denerim that occurs during Origins's finale. I'll admit, it was a good time until I got to the market area and started laying waste to all those NPCs I'd befriended as a Warden...never mind the battle on the roof of Fort Drakon. I felt a twinge of sadness as I slashed away at Wynne and the dog- MY dog!, but it was just a twinge, I swear- and that's only because I'm one of those goody-goody, namby-pamby players.

Witch Hunt

Man, I was so looking forward to Witch Hunt, which promised to shed light on Morrigan's life post-Origins (and post-Old God baby). Hell, this DLC was to give a proper ending to your Grey Warden's story if your Warden was male and in a romance with ~~everyone's~~ my favorite Witch of the Wilds. I suppose it does all that, but not in a particularly satisfying fashion. Meet up with a few new peeps, travel to places you visited in Origins (like the Circle of Magi and Cadash Thaig), find Morrigan, and get one of a couple of abrupt endings that are, frankly, unworthy of the hours spent with these characters in the game proper. Worth it if you dig Morrigan (I honestly don't get why some people don't dig Morrigan, but it's my understanding that these people are out there), I guess, but don't be surprised if you bust out a "That's IT?" when it's all over.

Leliana's Song

Now, my friends, we're talking! Perhaps the best piece of Dragon Age DLC is Leliana's Song, a romp through the past that explores Leliana's time as a bard and just what the eff went down with Marjolaine. If you saw Leliana's companion quest through to its end, then surely a glimpse into events that transpired before you met her is a tantalizing prospect, no? Yes! Wait...yes or no. Whichever one means YES in regards to whether or not you should play this. In particular, Leliana's Song is a great example of what DLC can be: it expands greatly on a character we think we know, provides some satisfying gameplay (even if, again, we play through areas we've seen before), and colors our experiences in the main game. If you get one piece of cheap DA DLC, I recommend this one.

Dragon Age: Awakening

Not so much DLC as it is a lengthy (20+ hours!) expansion pack, Awakening is nonetheless on The Sale...so if you haven't played this before now, you no longer have excuses! Basically, this is Dragon Age: Junior- much like the experience of playing Origins, but truncated. The story takes place after the demise of the Archdemon, and you can import your Warden or start fresh playing a Warden from Orlais. Both have advantages- decisions your Warden made will have some repercussions felt in Awakening (it's particularly satisfying to play as a human noble), whereas a Warden from Orlais will experience all sorts of side-eye from citizens simply because he or she is Orlesian. You know how Orlesians are! My recommendation is to start a new character; I just found it a bit too weird to play my Warden with (almost all) new companions who really didn't compare to my companions of old. No matter how many jokes he cracks, Anders just ain't Alistair, and no matter how bitchy she is, Velanna ain't Morrigan. Some familiar faces pop up, but you simply may not give two shits about that sort of thing. No matter which character you choose to play, you're the new Warden Commander charged with finding out why the Darkspawn are at it again, even without an Archdemon commanding them- and why some of them now speak. Travel around Ferelden, recruit some friends, make some heavy decisions, fight some new enemies...it's pretty much more of what you dug about DA:O, plus some sweet new equipment.

So there you go, the big rundown on the cheap Dragon Age DLContent. Go forth, purchase, and play! I know what you're thinking- "Stacie, I will. But FFS, why don't you just marry Dragon Age already?" To which I reply "I would, but then what would Mass Effect say?"

Dead Space: Aftermath

2011-01-12T11:24:00.001-08:00

When I reviewed the animated feature Dead Space: Downfall, I started out with some math:

(cartoon + comic + video game) x (sci-fi + horror) = (Final Girl + Dead Space) / love

That formula has not changed a bit in the interim, so I suppose you could say that I was greatly looking forward to the sequel, Dead Space: Aftermath. I suppose you could also say that I should get a haircut and while that may, in fact, be true, it has little to do with the matters at hand so you should just mind your own beeswax! But I know you're right. I do need a haircut. Earlier today I found a split end that was split in a manner that defied the very laws of nature and physics and probably time! It looked not at all unlike this 1896 drawing of a Mantis Shrimp.

By the way, don't mess with the Mantis Shrimp! They will fuck you up.

Sorry, I'm a bit distracted this morning. Umm...Dead Space: Aftermath, yes! As Downfall bridged the gap between the 6-issue comic book miniseries and the Dead Space video game, so Aftermath bridges the gap between the game and its sequel, due to hit on January 25th. For those of you who aren't all ten kinds of Funk & Wagnalls about the Dead Space series, here's a quick rundown:

Downfall: On the planet Aegis VII, an ancient alien artifact is discovered and brought aboard the USG Ishimura. The artifact has hinky powers, though, and causes flip outs of the homicidal variety. Not only that, but it reanimates dead tissue, turning human corpses into necromorphs, hideously deformed monsters who kill kill kill! Shit gets FUBARed on the Ishimura very quickly.

Dead Space: The USG Kellion answers the Ishimura's distress call. Players control Isaac Clarke, the Kellion's engineer, as he tries to...well, survive against a space ship full of necromorphs. At the end of the game, Clarke's fate is unknown.

Aftermath: The USG Bannon has been sent to find out what the frig is going on since contact with the Kellion and Clarke have now been lost. Ship after ship after ship, I swear! As you might guess, things on the Bannon go straight to heck and only four people survive. During Aftermath, we hear their tales, piece together the story, and learn just how heck-y it all got. We also discover what happened to Isaac Clarke to some extent, and the film leads right into Dead Space 2.

PHEW, amiright? Yeah, there's a lot to the Dead Space mythology, for lack of a better word, and I haven't even touched on the religious aspects of it all. If you don't know anything about any of it, you might come into Aftermath and not know what's going on. Well, you might not be completely lost, but you might feel a little out of place. You don't want that, do you? I don't want that for you. I want you to feel loved and cherished and like you belong, so you can be all "necromorph this" and "plasma cutter that". It's because I care!

Whether or not you're a Dead head, Aftermath is a good time. There's not a lot of character depth- we learn just the tiniest bit about the four survivors and their families (for example, one crew member sees the ghost of his dead daughter beckoning him as the artifact messes with his mind), but essentially they only tell the story of the massacre on the Bannon. That's fine by me, as it's an entertaining story...and as the math has proven, I'm a sucker for horror in space.

And this is definitely horror! It may not be quite as gory as Downfall, but the blood certainly flies and there's plenty of violence to be found. If that wasn't a big enough indicator, then all the swearing will let you know that Aftermath is decidedly not for the kiddies. That's right, I said swearing. This movie pulls out all the stops!

Each segment relating a survivor's tale has a different director and therefore a different art style. While they're all anime-esque, there are enough variations that you may end up needing a moment to sort out the characters- a thin, dweeby egghead scientist may appear all jacked up and ready to go on a 'roid rage in the next story. What's more off-putting, however, is the animation in the framing narrative- I don't know who decided cartoonish CGI was a good idea, but I wish they'd reconsidered and gone the traditional animation route for the entire film. Sometimes the CGI is alright; armor and guns, for example, come off looking cel-shaded and pretty cool. At other times, though, this shit looks like a commercial for The General auto insurance. It's an odd choice and I can't say I liked it, but I could deal with it (cue heavy, martyr-ish sigh).

I really like the Dead Space universe, and I dig that the world I discovered in the game is branching out into other media- I do so enjoy a property I can sink my teeth into. I'm a fan of animation and space-based horror, so as far as I'm concerned, these movies can keep on comin'. But then, what do I know? I mean, look at the state of my hair.

Retro Review: BALDUR'S GATE: DARK ALLIANCE

2011-01-06T12:12:00.000-08:00

What oh what is one to do when one feels like playing a game but is bored with one's meager selection of Xbox 360 games? One is to dust off one's trusty PlayStation 2, that's what! Well, I suppose that's true if one is me. The point of this is that I recently busted out an old fave that hails from the Age of 2001: Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance and you know what? That shit is still fun.

This action/RPG begins in the Dungeons & Dragons city of Baldur's Gate; the player's character is robbed and takes refuge at the Elfsong Tavern. From there, he or she embarks on a vengeance-filled quest to track down the guilty thieves; before long, however, it becomes evident that the thieves' guild if only a part of a larger world-ending scheme at play, and so the PC travels the land hoping to save civilization from destruction.

Oh man, did you see that? "Dungeons & Dragons"..."Elfsong"..."quest"..."the"...yup, BG: DA is firmly entrenched in geekdom. But we don't mind, right, because we all secretly like that stuff, right? Right? RIGHT?? Secretly. In secret. In public we'd never be all "Ooh, elven sorceress!", but in private, we'd totally be all "Ooh, elven sorceress!" when choosing our characters, right?

What I'm trying to say is that...umm...one of the characters you can choose to play is an elven sorceress. The others are human archer and dwarven warrior, but there are only minor ability differences between the three- the dwarf can use two-handed weapons and the sorceress can, oddly enough, cast a whole mess of spells. I'd lodge a minor complaint that character creation isn't a part of this RPG experience- while leveling up and choosing skills are part of the process, appearance and even naming your character are not. I won't lodge that complaint, however, because 1) this is an action RPG from 2001, and in the years since I've been spoiled by levels of customization in more current RPGs, and 2) that is something a nerd would complain about and I am so not a nerd.

Gameplay couldn't be easier as you hack, slash, and magic your way through cellars, snowy mountaintops, and swamps. Weapons, spells, and items are assigned to buttons with a dreamy layout, which means you don't have to pause the action to, say, chug a health or mana potion.

Not that I know what a mana potion is- I mean, that's something a dork might know about, but not someone as cool and socially-relevant as myself.

They may be a decade old, but dammit, that graphics still hold up. Interactions with NPCs are presented in a 1st person POV, but the battling is 3D isometric style. There's a surprising amount of detail shown, from sparks flying off of a lit fuse to gory body parts flying off of a shambling corpse. While there's not a ton of dialogue, the voice acting is better than average...although it's a bit odd to hear the ridiculously over-busty, half-elven bar wench speak with almost the same voice as the stern, capable Commander Shepard of Mass Effect (both are voiced by Jennifer Hale, which...someone told me, I swear- it's not that I would just know something so dweeby).

If you're to kill a few hours with a fun-to-play actioner with some light RPG elements, you can't go wrong with Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance. It's well worth dusting off your PS2, GameCube, or Xbox to give it a whirl...although I'm sure you're much too cool to engage in anything to do with the Forgotten Realms!

Not that I know what those are, mind you.

Forgotten 80s Nintendo Games

2011-01-04T11:56:00.000-08:00

This is kind of the greatest thing ever (even though the severe buzzkilling nerd in me is all "the gameplay is more Atari than Nintendo"). I could actually see most of these being real games- there were some weird, weird titles and licensed properties out there in the old days.

via Gamefreaks

horror video games

2011-01-03T13:44:00.000-08:00

I love horror movies and I love video games. It should be obvious, then, that I love any combination of the two; I've played some games past the point of frustration just because they were supposed to be scary (the original Alone in the Dark stinks...it's okay, we can all admit it). Likewise, I've found perverse enjoyment in some atrocious horror films with gaming themes (yes, I'm referring to Stay Alive...just don't tell anyone).

I've talked about scary-flavored games plenty of times over at my other home, Final Girl; however, if you haven't been reading it for the past half-decade (and why would you, amirite?), then perhaps these little lists have gone without your notice. In the interests of convenience, history, humanity, and posting about things I dig, then, I'm gonna re-post all this old stuff about some of my favorite horror games here in one place...and even add a couple of new entries. GASP!

ALIEN 3 (Super Nintendo)

I don't really understand all the hatred people seem to have for the movie Alien 3. I saw it at the theatre twice and while it's a strange place to go after Aliens- and YES they shouldn't have casually killed ogg Newt and what's-his-name like that- I dig it (the fourth film in the series, Alien Resurrection, is another matter entirely). The pixelated counterpart, Alien 3 for the Super Nintendo system, is an absolute blast. You've got to guide Ripley through a series of varying environments (tunnels, exteriors, factories, etc) and accomplish different goals to complete missions. On one mission, you'll rescue prisoners that are all gunked-up with alien goo, while on another you'll have to clean all the alien eggs out of a hallway and weld the doors shut, and so on. For a 16-bit game, the graphics are fantastic. The action is intense- there's nothing like a room full of face-huggers to get your heart racing.

DOOM 3 (PC, Xbox)

I think I read on The Internet somewhere that people don't like Doom 3. I don't understand why, as I love it...hell, it's the first game I got when I got a good old-fashioned Xbox. What's not to love? It looks great and it plays great (this from someone who's pretty uncoordinated when it comes to first-person shooters). The plot (something something space marines something portal to hell something demons) is light, granted, but it's secondary to the action. When things go wrong in Doom 3, they really go wrong, and you've got to shoot, pummel, and chainsaw your way through hordes of demons and demonized space marines, often in the dark. During one part of this game, you're led through a labyrinthine area of a lab by a scientist. There are power fluctuations or surges or something and the lights are out. Eventually, the surges short out your flashlight as well...as the single beam of light fades, you see something leap out of the darkness and kill the scientist- then everything goes black. Absolutely terrifying. Stupid Internet.

FATAL FRAME (PS2, Xbox)

The Fatal Frame series is very, very Japanese, if you get my drift. Like your typical J-horror flick, it's long on atmosphere, longer on black hair, and short on a linear plot. Armed with a special ghost-capturing camera as your only weapon, you run around haunted houses trying to solve a mystery. If you're willing to give yourself over to the game, you'll likely get goosebumps on top of goosebumps- the game is that chilling. That Ray Parker, Jr thinks he's so big- I'd like to see him go up against a vengeful spirit in some dojo in the middle of the woods! My only gripe about these games is the battle system; the camera is very clever and very unique, but it's also clumsy. As I noted, I'm pretty uncoordinated at times, but more often than not I found myself wasting film taking pictures of the ceiling or floor while ghosts were attacking me relentlessly. The scares more than make up for this complaint, however. The second entry in the series, Crimson Butterfly, is perhaps the best.

RESIDENT EVIL (refer to chart found here for platforms)

Stick around here a while and you'll hear plenty of Resident Evil talk, my friends, because I effing love that series. The name of this blog may have even indicated as much. But in a list of my favorite horror games, I can't NOT mention the Rezzies. Yes, we're so intimate that we have irritating pet names for each other, though I can't print in polite company what Resident Evil calls me.

But! A post about the series is for another day; here, I'm just fixin' to talk about the ones I like best. My mostest favoritest, I think, is the GameCube remake of the very first Resident Evil. First of all: I love my GameCube. I'll talk about it more when I continue my positively fascinating history with video games...but suffice it to say, I find that the oft-maligned system kicks all kinds of ass. All kinds! For you mathemagicians out there, I posit: Resident Evil is proof of this.

The graphics in the remake are simply amazing, from the little puffs of dirt that rise when you run over an old, dusty wooden floor to the little puffs of stinky zombie breath blown in your face, it's really a beautiful game to behold. The basic plot of the original game remains intact- members of S.T.A.R.S. are investigating a series of "cannibal murders" and end up in a dilapidated mansion in the woods, confronted by zombies and various other horrors- but there are new subplots and enough new material to give a Resident Evil veteran plenty fresh thrills. This game is downright scary, there's no doubt about it. The first time a zombie that I killed- I know I killed it 'cause the puddle of blood oozed out from under him!- jumped up and started running after me, I nearly crapped my pants. Then I made out with my GameCube.

And then there's Resident Evil 4, which was born on the 'Cube but ported over to Playstation 2 (so you have no excuses not to play it- unless you only have some variation on the Xbox, or something much older, or perhaps you don't even play video games...I suppose those are good excuses) and changed the gameplay of the series. Gone was the awkward 3rd-person view; in its place, a weird over-the-shoulder 3rd/1st hybrid. Gone, too, were the straight-up zombies that were Resident Evil's hallmark, replaced by crazed cultists known as Los Ganados. Sometimes change is a good thing, though, and Resident Evil 4 is widely considered to be the best overall game in the series. It's a huge game- I don't even know how many hours I've spent playing it, and I loved every minute of it. And hell, you know any game that's got a dude with a sack on his head wielding a chainsaw is A-OK by me.

And then there's Resident Evil 2 and Code Veronica...oh, I could talk about Rezzies all day.

SILENT HILL (refer to chart found here for platforms)

I could also talk about Silent Hill all day, although truth be told...well, I'm a sucker for the series and so I'll play anything SH that exists, but I think it may have had its time in the sun. I shouldn't say that, I KNOW. But...latter entries are fun, but they just seem like pale imitations of the earliest forays into Silent Hill. Maybe it's just familiarity breeding meh, but they're just not terribly scary anymore. Something's missing.

Silent Hill 2 and 3, though...dem's my jams. I can't decide which I like better, although 2 has the best story out of any SH games. Some scary shit, that. Oh, Silent Hill...I'm sorry I said those things. You may no longer be the Silent Hill of my yoot, but I love you. For realsies.

CLOCK TOWER (PS, PS2)

I don't know why I keep buying Clock Tower games. I play them a bit, I get frustrated and/or get nowhere, I trade them in for something else. Oh wait, I know why- there are crazy dudes with big pointy things (by "things" I mean "knives and scissors", ya perv) chasing you around. The best part about the game is the fact that you can actually hide from the crazy dudes- hiding in the broom closet while a crazy dude hunts for you, walking by slowly as his giant scissors go shhhhing! shhhhing! is an awesome experience. Actually playing Clock Tower, however, is not. The controls are clumsy, the crazy dudes can't be killed (or really even stopped for any length of time), and the "puzzles" are nonsensical and frustrating. That's it, Clock Tower...like that mystery girl who made Michael Jackson cry, you're outta my life!

SIREN (PS2)

The skies rain blood and everyone in town goes homicidal cuckoo-nutso. You, however, are still quite normal and you have to escape. The evil townies want you to die and do everything they can to kill you: they'll stab you, they'll shoot you, they'll throw things at you. They're just plain mean! Mean and crazy! This game is pretty spooky, and you've got the ability to "sight-jack" in your arsenal. This means that for short periods of time you can see things through the eyes of the evil townies. A cool gimmick, but not just a gimmick- this is your only means of locating the evil townies in their proximity to you- and your only real means of escape is the use of stealth. I wanted this game to be awesome. I really, really did. But sweet jebus, it was difficult- or I found it to be difficult, anyway. I'm really bad at being stealthy when games require it. Some jerk would hear a leaf rustle under my foot and shoot me from a rooftop, or I'd come around the corner and get stabbed in the face. Ultimately, the difficulty level (or my stupid, noisy, lumbering self) got in the way of my enjoyment and Siren went bye-bye.

DEAD RISING (Xbox 360)

Once upon a time, I reviewed Dead Rising. There is now also Dead Rising 2, which is more of the kill the zombies sameness with some tweaks. If I have to tell you that killing hordes and hordes of zombies, wackadoos, and wackadoo-ier wackadoos is fun and creepy, then you must be a moron. No offense...but come on.

LEFT 4 DEAD (Xbox 360, PC)

I love the chaos of Dead Rising, but I love this first-person shooter even more. See, what Dead Rising is to George Romero, Left 4 Dead is to Zach Snyder. These walking dead aren't walking at all- they're running really fast because they want to eat your face. There are hundreds and hundreds of them, along with "special" zombies, upgraded with all sorts of new ways to kill you. My favorite is the Witch, the goth-looking chick who sits around in her underwear, crying...until you get too close, and then she's up and clawing your eyes out in a flash. Reminds me of college!

DEAD SPACE (PC, Xbox 360)

First of all, Dead Space 2 will be out for Xbox 360 and PS3 in a matter of days and I am excited about it. Okay, it's out in a matter of weeks, but as a week comprises days, my point stands. Second of all, if I'm excited about it, you can rightfully deduce that I love Dead Space. And why wouldn't I? This game is like Resident Evil meets Event Horizon, and it's absolutely one of the scariest games in the history of the history of ever- yes, it's that scary. You've got to repair your disabled ship while fighting off mutated crewmembers- of course there's an alien flu bug goin' 'round. Standard stuff, eh? Well, Dead Space utilizes sound and light like no other game since Silent Hill, and it's downright terrifying, to the point where I hit 'pause' on more than one occasion just so I wouldn't have to continue on into a pitch-black hallway where something was moaning. The score sounds straight outta Kubrick's The Shining, and it helps sink you into a never-ending state of heebie jeebies.

ETERNAL DARKNESS: SANITY'S REQUIEM (GameCube)

While it wasn't a major hit sales-wise, this oldie but goodie GameCube release is a favorite amongst nerds in the know. Explore the mansion that belonged to your recently-deceased grandfather as you try to unravel the mystery of his death. Find chapters from the "Tome of Eternal Darkness" and engage in a little time-travel...and then Eternal Darkness really starts fucking with you via the "sanity meter". The more scary stuff Alexandra encounters, the nuttier she gets...and the nuttier you'll get. You'll be in the middle of a boss battle when suddenly your controller no longer works...or the game cuts to the title screen...or Alexandra ends up on the ceiling- the game really messes with your head as a player. There's nothing else like it. Hey, now you're a nerd in the know!

HAUNTING GROUND (PS2)

Here's another game that got little attention, but horror fans should definitely bust out their PS2s and give it a whirl. At the start of Haunting Ground, you wake up in a cage (!!!) on the grounds of Castle Belli, and you've got to figure out what the eff is going on and how you can escape. Eventually you team up with a white German Shepherd named Hewie to solve puzzles and defend yourself as you search for a way out. What sets Haunting Ground apart from other survival horror games is that your character wields no weapons...just about all you can do when confronted by an enemy is run and try to find a good hiding spot- sort of like Clock Tower done right. Sometimes these hiding spots work, and sometimes they don't...but you can never use the same place twice. It's incredibly tense to be crouched behind a curtain while someone is in the room, actively looking in all the corners for you. While there's definitely too much backtracking (and man oh man does the story get a bit perverse), Haunting Ground boasts one of the greatest, scariest video game villains ever in Daniella, the creepy-ass maid (pictured above). I'd say they should stick her in a movie, but we all know how movies based on games tend to go...

THE THING (PS2, Xbox, PC)

Did you know that there's a video game set right after the events of John Carpenter's The Thing? There is, and it's pretty good- so you PS2 and Xbox owners should get all up on that shit. You can imagine how the game goes: after contact is lost with MacReady and company, the military sends teams to investigate...alien parasite hijinks ensue. While you've got to battle the creepy-crawlies, you've also got to battle the rising worries of your teammates as they become increasingly paranoid: no one trusts anyone. Dudes get scared and they kill themselves, or they try to kill you. You may have an infected teammate in your party. It's a lot like the game, except no one wears weird, giant sideways cowboy hats- and that's a pity.

F.E.A.R. (Xbox 360, PS3, PC)

F.E.A.R. has become a veritable franchise over the years; the forthcoming F.E.A.R. 3 will boast the talents of horror heavyweights John Carpenter and Steve Niles, so that ought to tell you something about it. As for me, I've only played the first game in the series and while I liked it well-enough, I didn't fall in love. It's a first-person shooter that's more action-y than horror-y to me, which is certainly fine. I look at the picture above, though, and I think to myself "Stacie, you're a jerk. Try it again. Undoubtedly the reason you thought it was only okay is undoubtedly your problem, not the game's." So, we'll see. There are a lot of games on my Someday Second Chance List, and this is one of 'em.

ALAN WAKE (Xbox 360)

I recently talked a bit about Alan Wake in my little year-end wrap-up, but this sleeper hit is worth mentioning again. In the end it may be more "thriller" than "horror", if one wants to split hairs (as, obviously, I do), but there's no denying that walking around the dark woods with naught but a flashlight while evil-encrusted psychos bearing fishing hooks chase you is GD scary.

So there you go, horror + video games- two great tastes that something something. I hope to amend this list until I can no longer hold controllers in my wizened, arthritic claws!

Actually, I take that back as "wizened, arthritic claws" sound like a real drag to have. How about...I hope to amend this list forever.

Look, I'm amending it already! In the interests of making this post more of a real horror-flavored video games list and not simply a horror-flavored video games I love list, here are some more...umm...you know, horror-flavored video games which may be of interest.

Stuff I've played, felt only okay about in the end:

Condemned: Criminal Origins/Condemned 2
Alone in the Dark (they were all okay except the first one, which, as I noted, sucks)
Indigo Prophecy
Call of Cthulhu
D/D2
Still Life

Stuff I've played that pretty much stunk:

Extermination
Illbleed
Obscure/Obscure 2
Nightmare Creatures (remember that shit?)
Cold Fear

Stuff I've yet to play, but I oh so very much would like to:

Metro 2033
Rule of Rose
Dementium
System Shock
Amnesia: The Dark Descent
Saw

Stuff I've played, but I honestly don't remember much at all:

Parasite Eve/Parasite Eve II

Stuff I'm currently playing:

Deadly Premonition

Kotaku's Year in Gaming

2011-01-02T10:03:00.000-08:00

Kotaku has put together a fancy graphical thingy that gives an oversight into the past year of gaming. It was a GD great year to be...umm, a gamer, I guess. Yes, that's the term, isn't it? Speaking of these so-called "gamers", this picture never gets old for me: